God is in charge

...and all is well. I want to stop looking for my best friend. I want to stop MISSING that feeling of knowing where I belong: in "his" arms (whomever "he" turns out to be), I so deeply want to know that at the end of the day it will not be ME. Again. Doing whatever mundane routine, necessary things I do, alone. Again. I suppose that a big part of it is that I HATE redundancy, and I am bored with myself. :} I don't so much miss the sexual part of having a man in my life, although I'm not going to tell you that I don't occasionally daydream....but it's more the feeling of belonging. Knowing that whatever I'm doing, there's someone who will be happy to hear from me, whenever it is that I call; happy to see me when it seems that the rest of the world can't WAIT to be away from me...
Now, let's see if I can let GOD be GOD.....

p.s.

This was written almost exactly a year before B & I were married. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." I'm not certain how well I "delight myself in the Lord", but as I keep that in mind, He has absolutely given me the desires of my heart.

God is good.

Thanks for reading.