Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Happy Day!!
I get to spend the day at home with my energetic, loud children. Oh, joy.
OK, seriously, I am grateful that I DO get to be home with them. I don't know how much longer I will have the opportunity. Things can change to friggin' quickly...and I know it.
So why am I not deep-down, all-over REALLY happy when I get to be with them for prolonged periods of time??? I would absolutely give my life for them. I do enjoy their company, for the most part. I think it must be that together, they feed off of each others' hyperactive tendencies, and then as that happens, the volume goes up higher and higher. I am just worn out.
I want to see about getting off of the ADD medicine I've been on. It seems that my memory and attentiveness are getting much worse as time goes on, and not at all in the direction they were in the earlier stages of taking the meds. I've done the differing doses, tried a couple of different medications, and the results are getting to be more and more quickly, that they are just not giving me much (if any) relief. I know there was a very long time that anti-depressants were more than sufficient, now I think I want to see if that could be the case again. The less I have to depend on a pharmacy to be able to interact with the rest of the population, the better. And certainly it can only help the way I relate to the boys. I have to be able to access the "best" me, in order to give them the best Mom I can.