This evening I went over to a friend's new apartment, and we had spaghetti for dinner. A young couple came over and the guy cooked up a storm, while I got to know the girl, which was nice. (There has been a noticeable lack of female friendship in my life for way too long. The only long-term ones are either geographically far away or just "too busy"... more on that at a later date)
But tonight I felt like "one of the gang", which has been forever since I felt like that. I brought the makings for root beer floats, which went over really well. My friend, "Dave", is going through a painful time, so many of the recovering community have been staying pretty close to him. I haven't known him for long, but I am continually struck by his willingness to talk about the pain and confusion he's walking through, and he keeps on keepin' on.
A couple of other things stand out to me, too, but I'm not sure in what order. He's a few inches taller than me and really good at giving hugs; and he has had a serious spiritual awakening, and we are able to talk to one another on a deeply spiritual level. That doesn't happen very often.
I told him I was not interested in anything besides being his FRIEND. I know the last thing either of us needs is that. I care too much about him (and me) to muck things up like that. It would only be (WHATEVER), and it would be bad.
After Shawn & Jasmine left, T came over. He seems to be the guy who rounds out the group. Kind of introspective, but also pretty witty. It's a close-knit group. as far as I can tell, and I just hope there can be a space made for me and mine in it.I felt like a sister hanging with "Dave" and another friend of ours, and that was very nice.
Before T & I left, we 3 prayed together, and it was really, really good. T is much deeper than first appearances imply. I played a Joy Whitlock song for them called "Faith Don't Fail". It speaks to me in a big way
"I just wanna get this out, I wish I didn't know what I know.
These memories are like hands around my throat.
It's what keeps me in, it's what locks me out.
Oh, faith don't fail me now."
She has a MySpace page, and her music is exceptional.
I know everything is going to be alright.