Sunday, August 31

Testing, testing...

I've been having trouble getting logged in, here. Not sure exactly what's up, but I wanted to tell you all that I'm alive and doing well. I'm going to meet a guy for coffee (and maybe a bite) after work this evening. I'm determined to get over my last "learning experience", and I suppose this could help. I dunno. My heart's not entirely in it, but maybe that's for the best.
I've been feeling things recently that I haven't felt for such a long time, and some of them have been surprising me. Things that would be absolutely self-destructive, like acting-out with ---anyone---that I KNOW would only lead to de-valuing myself and blowing away any self-esteem that I might have left. I will not be doing that. The momentary satisfaction of feeling a pair of strong arms around me would NOT be worth the grief and despair I would definately have to deal with later. So, I guess this is the "moderate" acting out--just having coffee or a bite to eat, instead of actually doing the things that would be "all-or-nothing" and lead to my demise. I am looking forward to spending time with a handsome man. I don't know that it's THIS one that I'd prefer to be with, but he is a nice person, and I am open to the idea of getting to know him, and who knows what may come of it? Maybe nothing, or maybe something. I'll keep ya posted.