Monday, September 22

AWOL (WARNING: I'm not sure how "PC" this one is gonna be)

Hello! Sorry about the temporary leave of absence. I've been pseudo-scurrying to get things back into some kind of manageability, what with the new and improved job situation and then the back-to-school thing going on... So, far, here's where things stand:
Boy #15 (you figure it out ;>) is doing one bang-up job of FLUNKING out of every class save one, in which the boy genius is getting a D-. Impressive, huh? I accept responsibility for some of that, but not nearly all of it. My part is that we did not have the ADHD meds for part of the time that school has been reconvened. I was not able to get to the website to check on his grades until about a week or so ago, so you can imagine my surprise---ahem---at this information not adding up with his repeatedly optimistic replies when I'd ask him how school was going. Funny how it DOES jibe with the conspicuous ABSENCE of any kind of school materials EVER coming home with him...
WHY is it not legal to kill one's own offspring? I mean, really. As long as it's semi-quick, and they don't suffer too much, it ought to be acceptable. I'm sure in some country, this is an understood and even preferred practise. Oh, wait, I think I remember there being a time when it WAS. But that was before we decided that WE knew better than God.
I mean, c'mon. It's not like we couldn't just make MORE kids. For that matter, there are plenty to go around, aren't there? Yours shows their little a$$ a few times too many, you take care of the problem and go get a kid w/o a home. I'm betting they would act much better than their predecessor. I know *I* would be a whole different person if that had been in effect. lol

Wow. I sure didn't see all THAT coming.
ANNNyyywaay. So I'm limping along with my studies...sans one of the textbooks b/c of the school's new computer and bookstore situation. (IS there a "better" time to change over computer systems and bookstores for online classes? Coz if there is, they haven't found it!) However, being the generally creative sort, I am not terribly distraught about it, b/c I've been blessed to have hobbled through the grading finishline with decent enough grades for the most part, so far. The class in question is Grief and Loss, and I actually (like the researching geek I tend to be)studied up on that a bit when Dad was dying, and have confidence that THAT will help at least a little.

No new man. (Yay?) I know that I feel like I ought to seriously hang it up for now, but for whatever reasons, that I'll let YOU analyze on your own time if you care to, I'm just not willing to stop looking yet. Then that little voice in my head says "What if you DON'T do what you're feeling is the right thing for now, and it gets you ReALLY hurt?" I mean, I've been blessed so far, and not met any freaks at all. I s'pose I am getting close to being due, statistically speaking. But I've also NOT met a lot of the men I've had contact with. I guess I've been careful enough for now. I have no interest in meeting any of my x's, so that right there helps me to stay on my toes. I could go to a few CODA meetings, probably. Would that help me to get re-focused? Hm. Probably not. I know intellectually that a man in my life is NOT going to "fix" anything, yet emotionally... I've gotten a taste of the delicious frenzy that is infatuation, again, and I LIKE it. I wonder if there is a "Relationship Addicts Anonymous" in this area? Not that I'm ready to go there yet, but this blog IS kind of being written by an admitted ADDICT, now isn't it?

AUGH!!! WHY couldn't I have stayed IGNORANT? It was SO blissful, as the saying goes.

So, how's YOUR week going?