Saturday, September 27

They think I am dangerous



I am learning a new lesson now. I'm not entirely certain what it will end up being, but I guess I'm just hoping that it will be one that won't have to be repeated AGAIN.
The term that I am trying to ingest is "Therapeutic Boundaries". And while I am fairly sure that some of the reasons may have been valid, I am quite positive that the Staff member that had taken it upon herself to be the "Tech Police" is also to be credited, to no small degree, with my newly increased personal time. (Translation: I was fired.)
I'm grateful that I had talked to one of the 2 Therapists of the facility, just moments before being given the information that it was probably best if I didn't continue my learning about this subject at this facility. This way, there is at least one other person there that KNOWS the truth about things. I don't know, maybe my previous hunch about not being cut out for a conventional work environment is right. Maybe I'm not going to be where I'm most helpful until I'm in a position that's not "Corporate".
For one thing, "someone" told the powers that be that I had given a patient my ADDRESS and my EMAIL ADDRESS. Both of these are lies. (Nor had I given anyone my phone number, just so we're all clear on that.)
Ironically, I was talking to the Therapist, thinking that I was going to go into this OFFICE and ask them if there was any kind of "Mentoring" options, which had been suggested to me, b/c I liked this job so much, and it is/WAS so critical that I know what was and was not ok, as far as Pt./Staff boundaries....
Apparently it was wrong for me to talk to a patient who has eating issues, about having had the same issues when I was her age. And this was harmful HOW??? Apparently, there is some way that Staff is supposed to act like they care about the kids when they are on the clock, and then when they leave, just not give it another thought. Apparently, caring for these children involves being a physical, observant, and directional being, but nothing other than that, coz you know they've been hurt and you can't --- WHAT?? I'm not even 100% certian what it is that I did wrong, which leads me back to the (AHEM) Staff member who was embellishing and exaggerating as she REPORTED on my actions. I suppose no one will ever consider the connection between her patient in fact doing SMB (Self Mutilating Behavior) while Ms. Tech Police was watching ME. But I'M the one who no longer is safe to be around the kids.
AND it was wrong for a patient to ask when I would be working again????????!!??

WTF.

So, as if everything else wasn't bogus enough, I was so shocked and sad that I was being thought to be harmful to the children, and probably a little bit angry at the person who was at the bottom of it all, that I sat in that office and BLUBBERED like a damned baby. I was crying like my cat had been killed. And you know THAT bunch was probably taking notes and analysing my warped psyche. Maybe I should ask if I can have a copy of their findings when I go pick up my last check?
I guess there were a lot of things that I was crying about, and many of them I don't even need to acknowledge right now. I would like to get to a place where I don't have to be scared that just b/c I like a job a LOT, that it means that it won't last long.
I know God's in charge, and I know His plan is perfect. He will guide me to the place where I am s'posed to fit, and in the perfect time. I just wish I could sleep for a few months.

I loved that job. I was making a difference. I know that most of the staff liked me. I will do better next time. Now I had better get to work on that resentment.

And the beautiful monkeys above are mine, and I'm ALLOWED to be my dangerous self around them.

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