Just in case you've not stepped over to the newer blog "Abbie in Wonderland", yet, I encourage you to do so. It's still me, and it actually updates itself on your blog-stream thingy. Seriously contemplating closing this one, much as I love it, if I can't get that feature to work again.
Anyway, things are shaking and being shook in our little town. I wish I didn't feel like I lived in a soap opera at times.
When it gets right down to it, I know that God is in charge, and therefore, He will work everything out for our good. At the same time, the enemy of our souls goes about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may destroy. Too bad JESUS took that lion's teeth out when He took my spot on the cross. Like my Dad would say: "the devil's a PUNK!" with his best imitation of Clint "Squinty Clinty" Eastwood.
By the way, I want to mention that this week my Dad woulda been 72 years young. He's been up in Heaven for 12 years, now and it still hurts like the day he left. Just not as often. Memories are like a hot coal, I can get close enough to see the beauty, and feel the warmth, but I just can't HELP from touching it; KNOWING that it's going to hurt a LOT.
I was talking to a nurse the other day and she mentioned that she'd lost her Dad, and we got to talking about that pain. I asked her how long it'd been, and she said "11 months". I'm not sure but I'd bet I was still trying to remain numb at that point. It's funny. I discovered that in times of extreme sorrow and/or fear, my brain & body can somehow manage to numb themselves. Maybe it's related to sleeping being my favorite escape (since recovery). IDK.
Blessings to you all. This too shall pass.
Showing posts with label think. Show all posts
Showing posts with label think. Show all posts
Friday, February 24
Monday, September 22
AWOL (WARNING: I'm not sure how "PC" this one is gonna be)
Hello! Sorry about the temporary leave of absence. I've been pseudo-scurrying to get things back into some kind of manageability, what with the new and improved job situation and then the back-to-school thing going on... So, far, here's where things stand:
Boy #15 (you figure it out ;>) is doing one bang-up job of FLUNKING out of every class save one, in which the boy genius is getting a D-. Impressive, huh? I accept responsibility for some of that, but not nearly all of it. My part is that we did not have the ADHD meds for part of the time that school has been reconvened. I was not able to get to the website to check on his grades until about a week or so ago, so you can imagine my surprise---ahem---at this information not adding up with his repeatedly optimistic replies when I'd ask him how school was going. Funny how it DOES jibe with the conspicuous ABSENCE of any kind of school materials EVER coming home with him...
WHY is it not legal to kill one's own offspring? I mean, really. As long as it's semi-quick, and they don't suffer too much, it ought to be acceptable. I'm sure in some country, this is an understood and even preferred practise. Oh, wait, I think I remember there being a time when it WAS. But that was before we decided that WE knew better than God.
Nevermind.
I mean, c'mon. It's not like we couldn't just make MORE kids. For that matter, there are plenty to go around, aren't there? Yours shows their little a$$ a few times too many, you take care of the problem and go get a kid w/o a home. I'm betting they would act much better than their predecessor. I know *I* would be a whole different person if that had been in effect. lol
Wow. I sure didn't see all THAT coming.
ANNNyyywaay. So I'm limping along with my studies...sans one of the textbooks b/c of the school's new computer and bookstore situation. (IS there a "better" time to change over computer systems and bookstores for online classes? Coz if there is, they haven't found it!) However, being the generally creative sort, I am not terribly distraught about it, b/c I've been blessed to have hobbled through the grading finishline with decent enough grades for the most part, so far. The class in question is Grief and Loss, and I actually (like the researching geek I tend to be)studied up on that a bit when Dad was dying, and have confidence that THAT will help at least a little.
No new man. (Yay?) I know that I feel like I ought to seriously hang it up for now, but for whatever reasons, that I'll let YOU analyze on your own time if you care to, I'm just not willing to stop looking yet. Then that little voice in my head says "What if you DON'T do what you're feeling is the right thing for now, and it gets you ReALLY hurt?" I mean, I've been blessed so far, and not met any freaks at all. I s'pose I am getting close to being due, statistically speaking. But I've also NOT met a lot of the men I've had contact with. I guess I've been careful enough for now. I have no interest in meeting any of my x's, so that right there helps me to stay on my toes. I could go to a few CODA meetings, probably. Would that help me to get re-focused? Hm. Probably not. I know intellectually that a man in my life is NOT going to "fix" anything, yet emotionally... I've gotten a taste of the delicious frenzy that is infatuation, again, and I LIKE it. I wonder if there is a "Relationship Addicts Anonymous" in this area? Not that I'm ready to go there yet, but this blog IS kind of being written by an admitted ADDICT, now isn't it?
AUGH!!! WHY couldn't I have stayed IGNORANT? It was SO blissful, as the saying goes.
So, how's YOUR week going?
Boy #15 (you figure it out ;>) is doing one bang-up job of FLUNKING out of every class save one, in which the boy genius is getting a D-. Impressive, huh? I accept responsibility for some of that, but not nearly all of it. My part is that we did not have the ADHD meds for part of the time that school has been reconvened. I was not able to get to the website to check on his grades until about a week or so ago, so you can imagine my surprise---ahem---at this information not adding up with his repeatedly optimistic replies when I'd ask him how school was going. Funny how it DOES jibe with the conspicuous ABSENCE of any kind of school materials EVER coming home with him...
WHY is it not legal to kill one's own offspring? I mean, really. As long as it's semi-quick, and they don't suffer too much, it ought to be acceptable. I'm sure in some country, this is an understood and even preferred practise. Oh, wait, I think I remember there being a time when it WAS. But that was before we decided that WE knew better than God.
Nevermind.
I mean, c'mon. It's not like we couldn't just make MORE kids. For that matter, there are plenty to go around, aren't there? Yours shows their little a$$ a few times too many, you take care of the problem and go get a kid w/o a home. I'm betting they would act much better than their predecessor. I know *I* would be a whole different person if that had been in effect. lol
Wow. I sure didn't see all THAT coming.
ANNNyyywaay. So I'm limping along with my studies...sans one of the textbooks b/c of the school's new computer and bookstore situation. (IS there a "better" time to change over computer systems and bookstores for online classes? Coz if there is, they haven't found it!) However, being the generally creative sort, I am not terribly distraught about it, b/c I've been blessed to have hobbled through the grading finishline with decent enough grades for the most part, so far. The class in question is Grief and Loss, and I actually (like the researching geek I tend to be)studied up on that a bit when Dad was dying, and have confidence that THAT will help at least a little.
No new man. (Yay?) I know that I feel like I ought to seriously hang it up for now, but for whatever reasons, that I'll let YOU analyze on your own time if you care to, I'm just not willing to stop looking yet. Then that little voice in my head says "What if you DON'T do what you're feeling is the right thing for now, and it gets you ReALLY hurt?" I mean, I've been blessed so far, and not met any freaks at all. I s'pose I am getting close to being due, statistically speaking. But I've also NOT met a lot of the men I've had contact with. I guess I've been careful enough for now. I have no interest in meeting any of my x's, so that right there helps me to stay on my toes. I could go to a few CODA meetings, probably. Would that help me to get re-focused? Hm. Probably not. I know intellectually that a man in my life is NOT going to "fix" anything, yet emotionally... I've gotten a taste of the delicious frenzy that is infatuation, again, and I LIKE it. I wonder if there is a "Relationship Addicts Anonymous" in this area? Not that I'm ready to go there yet, but this blog IS kind of being written by an admitted ADDICT, now isn't it?
AUGH!!! WHY couldn't I have stayed IGNORANT? It was SO blissful, as the saying goes.
So, how's YOUR week going?
Saturday, February 23
You don't like the weather, here? Just wait a few minutes...
Yes, the weather here in Indiana changes more often than most folks' underwear. (Today, we finally have SNOW!!)
Speaking of changes, things here are changing a bit; as of a few days ago, I'm officially EMPLOYED!! (WOO HOO!!) And I'll tell you WHY it's so great! Because for like, the second time, EVER, this gig is something that I WANT to do, and I have faith that overall, I will really like it AND be good at it! It's actually within the parameters of my field of study!! So, yes, I'm a little bit excited about it. The pay will be easily the highest I've ever received, although at first I won't be getting many hours. Essentially, I'll be getting paid to watch and observe people, and report what I see and hear. As a people-watcher from WAAYY back, this is something I can absolutely get behind. Now, there will be some parts of it that will qualify it as "work", namely, the emotional factor. This job involves children who are no longer living with one or both of their parents, and their visitation time with one another. It sounds emotionally charged just from that, huh? Well, hopefully it won't always be rough like that, but if it is, I know that my part will be to help the kids with it, in one way or another.
Another change is that I went to the "eHarmony" website to get my "personality profile" and see what it said about me. I remembered from a while back that you could go and get the test run for free, and learn a bit about yourself...well, I went ahead and got a temporary kind-of membership. Yeah, ok, so I'll admit it, I've been having those thoughts about several of the males in my life, lately, and that's probably got something to do with going ahead and signing up. As long as I was straight in my profile, that I want a FRIEND for the time being...if that much even happens. We'll see. I just can't allow myself to accept my suspicion that there really are no good guys left, that aren't over 70 or mute/comatose. I'll let you know if anything interesting transpires.
I also admitted to a friend tonight that I think he's really special, and cute. lol Those who know me are rolling their eyes, about now. Eh, he needed some assurance that he's still an ok guy--his wife threw him out so that she could carry on with her boss, and he's taken it to be that he's no good.
Anyway. That's probably way more excitement than I need, so I guess I'll stop stirring the sh*t, now. :oD
blessings, friends
Speaking of changes, things here are changing a bit; as of a few days ago, I'm officially EMPLOYED!! (WOO HOO!!) And I'll tell you WHY it's so great! Because for like, the second time, EVER, this gig is something that I WANT to do, and I have faith that overall, I will really like it AND be good at it! It's actually within the parameters of my field of study!! So, yes, I'm a little bit excited about it. The pay will be easily the highest I've ever received, although at first I won't be getting many hours. Essentially, I'll be getting paid to watch and observe people, and report what I see and hear. As a people-watcher from WAAYY back, this is something I can absolutely get behind. Now, there will be some parts of it that will qualify it as "work", namely, the emotional factor. This job involves children who are no longer living with one or both of their parents, and their visitation time with one another. It sounds emotionally charged just from that, huh? Well, hopefully it won't always be rough like that, but if it is, I know that my part will be to help the kids with it, in one way or another.
Another change is that I went to the "eHarmony" website to get my "personality profile" and see what it said about me. I remembered from a while back that you could go and get the test run for free, and learn a bit about yourself...well, I went ahead and got a temporary kind-of membership. Yeah, ok, so I'll admit it, I've been having those thoughts about several of the males in my life, lately, and that's probably got something to do with going ahead and signing up. As long as I was straight in my profile, that I want a FRIEND for the time being...if that much even happens. We'll see. I just can't allow myself to accept my suspicion that there really are no good guys left, that aren't over 70 or mute/comatose. I'll let you know if anything interesting transpires.
I also admitted to a friend tonight that I think he's really special, and cute. lol Those who know me are rolling their eyes, about now. Eh, he needed some assurance that he's still an ok guy--his wife threw him out so that she could carry on with her boss, and he's taken it to be that he's no good.
Anyway. That's probably way more excitement than I need, so I guess I'll stop stirring the sh*t, now. :oD
blessings, friends
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