Saturday, July 31

Hello, AUGUST!

It looks like we've made it through another Indiana summer. Didn't go anywhere, I'm sad to say, unless I count several roadtrips up to fetch a certain tall handsome tattooed man. ...and I will find out what my final grade is for the class I half-assed took this semester. Oh, and lest we forget obout Murphy's Law, I should be picking up the ADHD meds next week some time. Yes, the first ones I will have been able to access in several-*&^$%#$@!!!- months. I really don't think it should count, but then most everything that's happened in the last few months would have to not count, and that would NEVER do.
So, when at the end of the road, I think back on all the time I spent looking for a mate to join forces with for the last half (?) of my life, to share joys and tears, and all the insanity that can be my life, I really would have preferred for it to not have taken so long to meet him. However, I know it took all the time and events within that period to get us right where God wanted us to be. I'm pretty sure that if I hadn't had the time getting to know the ones I dated before, I'd have been much less sure of what qualities I needed said mate to possess....One man was a Christian, knew the Word VERY well, but...I would have never thought you could be a Christian and a Playah at the same time? I'm still not sure how that works. One was just too New-Agey and wishy-washy in most ways. One was the most gentle and sweet man I'd met until then, but he was at the beginning of the battle to defeat his inner demons, and I knew I was not the woman to make that trip with him. His parting words were something like "I've tried once again to reach out and trust someone with my heart..." Wow. I hate that, not only b/c I've totally been there, but also b/c I see greatness in him, under all the pain and grief of his past.
THEN I met Perfect For ME Man. The terror was rather severe, for the first few months, as you might imagine. "WTF if I've finally laid hold of GOD'S will for me??!" Fear of success and fear of failure were running rampant, to be sure. So we talked about it. And we began praying together on the phone every morning. We shared secrets and encouraged each other to seek the Lord's will...Really. It has been worth it. Every tear I've shed in waiting and despairing that God would give me my heart's desire, THIS TIME, was worth it. The hope has been restored. I've been a part of too many relationships that have crashed and burned, but they were missing some major components: 1. REAL Christ followers, 2. RECOVERY for REAL, and 3. WAITING for MARRIAGE...yes that's what I said. When I put a picture of my beloved up here you will probably not believe it, and at times it's hard for me to, even, but he says he "loves me too much to", b/c I told him at the get-go that it's NEVER worked out for me when the steps are out of order.
Pray for a Sistah, will ya? :)
And how's YOUR summer been?

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