So, I wonder, is it normal, after having gone to the Medical professionals only sporadically, for the past several decades, and then ONLY for specific "female" (common, for the most part) illnesses, to finally wake up in your early to mid 30-40's and feel like your body is self-destructing??
My Dad used to say, half-jokingly, that just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.
I wonder if that applies here, too? Just because you're a hypochondriac, doesn't mean that you're NOT just sick in more ways than you even want to know about? I don't really think that I AM, but the fact is, that I only go to the Dr. when it seems to be unavoidable for one reason or another, and by that time, there are SO many things going on with me, that I have a laundry list a mile long for them. It's like "I'm here to get my antidepressants re-filled, but I also want you to look at my toenails, I think I have that fungus, there. And my skin just won't clear up. I had that resistant thing, infection that wouldn't go away (staph?) a few years, ago, so it that back again? Because I ran out of the medicine they gave me for it, and now it seems to be coming back. But I can't afford the medicine, and my insurance dropped me...and the ADD meds, I ran out of them because I forgot to call you, and..." now they call and tell me that the Dr. I've grown to trust and love (She even drives me favorite kind of tiny little Euro car!) is no longer going to be practicing there.
So, WTF??
I loathe going to a new Dr.; nothing personal, but I KNOW I'm not the most balanced person on the block, and this woman actually had come to accept that I am not completely whacked, but actually a tiny bit on top of my medical situation, and it's not about an addict trying to cop some drugs (as it's possible that most of the clients there, are), it's just possibly about a woman whose trying to make the best of her mental and physical situation in life...
Wow. Am I whining? I don't feel like I am, b/c I have some acceptance about it all. But I wish I knew how much of it is just me being a big baby, and how much of it is actually fairly normal, all things considered, for ME. lol
Oh, well, it's late, and I'm kind of tired.
Summer break might just be the Teacher's pay-backs for keeping our kids all the rest of the year. Darn them.
;)
I know what you mean about seeing new doctors. I was especially nervous about seeing one for the first time after I got sober. Luckily, my sponsor, who had been even more phobic, went to one first because she had a policy of not telling someone to do something she wouldn't do herself. She could tell I really needed to go (and her sponsor had been after HER to go to a doctor), so it finally spurred her to get a check-up. She liked the new lady-doctor, so I went to see her too, and I liked her very much as well. She was very cool about the whole addict disclosure and everything-else-that-ails me thing.
ReplyDeleteBut still, it's hard when you know many doctors think alcoholics and addicts are just liars.