Last evening, after my 2nd full day at the new gig, GUESS who I talked to?
Yes, my "friend" in Georgia. We spoke for a while, and I said what I needed to say. said that I would forgive him b/c I HAVE to (Christianity and all), but that I was not going to be fooled again. I don't know if he's being careful to shield me----or himself---from more hurt, as the last couple of weeks, he says he was rather unhappy, too. I'm not sure how much of that I believe, since he DID know how to get ahold of me, but then I think: it takes what it takes. Maybe he had something to take care of, and maybe he was getting some things straightened out.....Oh, I don't know. I know that I have a tendency to err on being too understanding, like I do with the boys, and not enough consequence-oriented.
His voice was as sweet as ever, albeit softer, and appropriately unsure. Said that he had been ashamed of the way he'd stopped communicating with me, so suddenly, but he didn't know what to say...If we are ever going to get anywhere past this, there will have to be more openness as to our feelings. I'm afraid I will overwhelm him, or perhaps I already did, and now he's come to be certain that it's too much for him... I don't know. Just want him in my life....and more. Lord!!