So I was telling someone just yesterday about the new job, and how I liked working on the Unit with the teen girls, b/c I saw many familiar behaviors there, that had been what I did at that age. I also said that I wasn't sure about working on the Unit with the younger boys, b/c my youngest is just 8, and it would probably hit too close to home. Yeah.
So, today I showed up and found that I was, indeed, going ot get to confront that particular fear right now. Yes, they were handfuls, pretty much across the board, but I don't know how you would not be, having lived through the things these kids have. There were a couple who were def intellectually below standards, and more than a couple who had obvious anger issues. (One of them reminded me of my littlest one more than I care to admit.)
Then there was the little blonde angel. I saw him coming into the facility a couple of days ago, looking like an urchin, but with the biggest blue eyes, and hair that looked like spun gold. No, really. A petite boy, "Drew" is about 9 1/2, and he is in the "Honeymoon" stage, according to the more experienced techs. Helpful, sweet, compliant, very nice. His older brother (12) had been admitted to the facility a couple of months ago. I'm not sure of the particulars that lead to his arrival at the place, but I'm thinking it was about "SAO" with a foster sibling or something. The older brother looks like a really nice, clean-cut kid, too, and really, he IS a nice boy. Upon looking at the brother's charts, I found that they had each been molested by their Dad, and the younger one, by his older brother, TOO.
As I watched the littler boy, I thought that if it was anywhere else, I'd joke with him that I was looking for a boyfriend, and did he have a girlfriend? Or maybe I would simply ask him if he wanted to come home with me, (b/c he is so good at holding doors, and volunteering to carry things, etc. VERY nice) but then if you add the context of the present situation, those harmless remarks become inappropriate...
Another little boy has the cutest bunch of freckles wall-to-wall across his face; he sat close beside me during Art Therapy; just being there as a friendly support during the group was a blessing.
Remember, he's a CHILD.
A senior tech confided that many new techs mess up by thinking that they ought to touch the kids, playfully, like they see the older techs doing. Problem is, the techs don't have the RAPPORT build up with the kids. Certainly the needfulness of having trust developed can't be overstated. Hew also pointed out that the uber'freckle-faced boy was one of the Predators on the Unit.
I find it distracting to interact with the children at this age, knowing that they have been so evilly betrayed, countless times, by the people to whom God gave them.
The Males in their lives, acting out their own perversions on these innocent children are the epitomy of scumbag, as far as I'm concerned.
Do they deserve forgiveness? I suppose they do, according to the Holy One. And does God demand JUSTICE?? Yes, He does.
Having a boy that is the same age as those on this unit is not helping here. Maybe if it really gets bad for me, I can switch during the next shift.
I know Hell is going to be incredibly hotter for those who have done these things to children.
I've been a bit more down than usuall since cominghome tonight. Now I"m feeling very tired.
Lord, forgive them, and forgive those of us who turn our heart and faces away from this plague in our nation.