Today was a good one, over all. I have not obsessively pined away for the man in my life, I have not pouted about the current situations in my life, and I have been able to "stay on task" and even clock in on time for work EVERY DAY so far!!!
Today I was relieved to find that upon arriving, I had been assigned to the Unit I'd originally worked on. I missed the little cuties from the little boy's unit, to be sure, but it was comforting to be back on the Teen Girls' unit. And I got to actually do a bit of my own charting today--WOO HOO!! I asked the guy who is pretty much "Mentoring" me if he thought they were gonna let me stick around, and he looked at me like "that's a strange question!" So, I'm going to go with that being b/c "OF course" they are!! I think I'm actually doing well there...
I hope and pray that the romantic relationship in my life will continue to grow and evolve. I guess at this point my biggest concern is that it won't. I don't know WHY it wouldn't, but I guess maybe I'm going on my own past experiences. Maybe the deal is, that the older you get, the more difficult it is to actually connect with someone who is equally willing to INVEST themselves in the biggest merger of their life. The most important covenant; the final agreement of this magnitude.... It sure is looking like that's the case.
I want so badly to be with him; to have discussions over morning coffee, to go over the days' events with him as we prepare dinner, and gaze into his eyes and dream of our shared tomorrows..... Is this even a realistic dream to have? I don't know why it wouldn't be. Yet I suppose that because it IS such a HUGE, enormous, ETERNAL investment that I'm considering, it's not all that odd to be giving it such careful consideration.
The way that he affects me is frankly terrifying. I can be driving down the road and have a thought of him cross my mind, and the current runs through my like a lightning bolt. It's not like I've never been attracted to someone or felt like I was in love before, but this is really serious. It's not just infatuation, and although there can be no denying the physical aspect, (I'm not even going to to there in a public forum) it's not even mostly that. But that IS a crazy thing to consider....
Longing. Desire. Yearning. Passion.
Thank you God.
Let's don't screw it up.