Monday, December 8

December ALREADY?!

WOW all of a sudden it got COLD!! Here I am, with only 2 weeks left of this semester, and no I never DID get the textbook for one of the courses I'm taking, but I believe that I'm going to come through it ok, regardless, b/c the Instructor was very good about posting "Power points" and I have some life experience to draw on, too.
How was your Thanksgiving?? Mine was really as good as it could possibly have been. My Sweety--friend--MAN got here EARLIER than I'd expected, which was a surprise but not a terrible thing. He was s'posed to get here Thursday sometime, and he actually arrived while I was in the tanning bad Wed. night! He says "Where ya at, Honey?" all nonchalant, and I said "I'm at the tanning bed, why?" "Well I was just wondering since I called the house and you weren't there..." I said where are you? and he said "Exit 90..." so, I went to the McD's and lead him to my place. Thank God I'd ALMOST gotten everything put away where I wanted it, so he didn't get to see much of a mess. (Did I tell you about the cheesy little plaque I saw recently? It was so cheesey, but so appropriate that I had to laugh. It said "This MESS is a PLACE!" Old, I know, but it was perfect.)
Thursday morning we got up and went to pick up Ben (my oldest) from D's, and headed on over to the festivities. I feel pretty certain that D manipulated the little one into staying with him, especially after finding out that I would indeed have a "friend" with me for Thanksgiving, and he's sadly willing to use an 8 year old to support his (self-)pity parties. Poor Dad, has to be alone...I try to gently explain that it's b/c of D's CHOICES that he is alone and hoe he doesn't LIKE to be around ppl, but I know at the same time that it's pointless and I don't want to confuse the little guy any more than he probably already is.
So, B gets into the car and he & M are joking and talking a bit, and all is going well. We get to the place where family is waiting and say our hello's.
Just as I'm getting my plate piled up and the table is getting filled up with hungry pilgrims, my phone rings. Gee, who could that be?
It's D. "I need you to come get E; I think I'm having a heart attack and I'm going to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital." Ok. I ask a few questions, w/o trying to sound overly concerned, like has he been taking his medicines? How long has this feeling been going on? Etc. He goes into more detail than I really want about how before when he's felt like this, it was just his needing to empty his bowels, but this time he tried that and it didn't help. So, I went to pick up Elijah, knowing that by the time I got there, D would be feeling fine.
If I had a dime for e very time he's done this, and/or for each time he's found some reason why it's NOT anxiety-related as far as he's concerned.
So, the rest of the day went pretty well, after eating we all played a card game--the adults, that is--and everyone had fun. M seemed to feel right at home, and I have to say that his personality fit in better than any man I've ever had around my family. By the time we were getting ready to leave, my little niece, who is 4 and not terribly shy, but a little, was up in his arms talking to him. I am very glad that I ended up having both of my boys with us for most of the day, and everyone really got along well.
As we drove to my place, B made some remark about where was M going to sleep, quickly followed by something about him putting a lock on my bedroom door, to ensure that M stayed on the couch. It was cute. M DID sleep on the couch, although on Saturday morning before anyone was awake, he came in and snuggled up to me for a little while. It was so nice to just be near someone so nice and warm. He was back out on the couch before the boys got up, so that they wouldn't get the wrong idea.
Anyway, I have to get back to doing some homework. I really like this man. OK, I love him. But it's a different kind of love. It's not infatuated, lust-filled gotta be with him every minute kind of stuff. It's the kind of good friendship, trusting--gradually--and feeling a certain kind of SAFE with him, thing. I wonder if he feels like there are expectations involved with love, b/c I asked him if it bothered him when I told him once that I love him, and He said a little. I'm glad he did. I hope that we can be honest enough with each other to say the truth when it's not pretty or romantic...I dunno. But there are a lot of good things here, and I can't even tell you all of them.
He went with me on Thursday, to a NA meeting while I got my 16 year medallion. WOO HOOO!!! YAY!! It was good.
And life is pretty good, overall, too.

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