Saturday, December 20

"I'm a loser, baby, so why don'tcha kill me?" --Beck

So, there's one more semester behind me. I never got the textbook for the class that wasn't mandatory. Sure wish I could've dropped it. Then I managed to FAIL the other class, which IS kind of necessary to get my degree. UGH.
I know there were many contributing factors to this, one being my inability to focus very well if there is ANYTHING else going on in my little world. .
I think I will try to avoid discussing this with Mom, for now. My life is always so simple, to hear her tell it. Maybe it is. Maybe it COULD be.
She and my brother, who somehow seems to have ended up withOUT the ADD gene and possibly even withOUT the depression gene, were discussing my oldest son and his school troubles recently. Mom's input to me was that essentially, they (I'm trying to decipher this)think he ought to be taken off of the ADHD meds. My thought is that he needs a counselor who is going to discuss THIS stuff, and not so much worry about whatever crap he spent all that time talking to the old counselor about. When the other one couldn't give me an idea of the goals they were working on, I got a bit concerned....
Anyway, Monday I go to see MY med prescriber, and I have high hopes that we will be increasing either the ADD stuff OR the antidepressant. I've been here before, and I know something is off, chemically, between my ears. I don't do well when I'm like this. I'm not saying it's THE reason for failing that class, but I know it contributed to it.
Please, somebody, some thoughts? My blog tells what else has been going on in my little world. Did I just screw up overall, or are there things I missed that I could have done to perhaps have prevented some of it--the F, the boys attitudes crashing and burning, etc...?
I'm going to bed.
In a week I hope to be in Ohio. YAY.