Wednesday, February 3

addiction is a MOTHER

Ok, so tonight was the funeral for Daniel Warner, age 26. He was a beautiful young man, loved sports and loved to cut up and make those around him feel good about life. He left behind a boy (2) and a girl (4 years old).
Pastor T preached from the Book of Daniel, ironically. There were probably 5x as many people in the church as I've ever seen before, and most of them were well under the age of 30. To say that it was disturbing would be a misnomer. When Daniel's Dad stood up in front of the church and talked about his son, it made me think of my own sons. Before that, there were a number of videos of Daniel as a young boy, showing him and a bit of what he was like. The parts of him at about 8 years old were the ones I liked best. He has a big flat doll that I assume was supposed to be a famous wrestler, and for the camera, Daniel proceeded to "wrassle" with him and pretty much gave him what for. Of course his little boy voice was also doing the commentary on the wrestling match and there were a lot of body slams involved. Daniel would pin the doll and look up with a big silly grin, then in a minute twist his face up trying to look fierce for the camera...I just thought of how he was " ALIVE". The most recent video images of Daniel were probably from when he was in high school, running on the track team.
The stories I heard were that when they found him--his daughter found him, by the way--his heart had exploded in his chest. A friend told me during the service about a phone call she'd received from Dan's Mom earlier in the evening before he died, that she wasn't sure if they needed help with him at that time or not, that he was "so wasted"...
Then my friend heard the sirens and she knew that something was up. She said she'd thought that probably something had happened with the little ones, knowing that young children are usually getting into something...
I was really proud that the message given during the service was that yes, Daniel was a victim of his own addiction, but that God loved him and that there is GRACE and forgiveness to be found at the cross. Jesus came to earth for JUST that kind of folks. God help those of us who spent so long hearing only of God's wrath, so that we are afraid to EVER try to return to Him. It took me over 5 years in recovery to even consider returning to God, so effectively was I beaten with the message of wrath and judgment. I've heard people state that they beat the Hell out of someone with their Bible, and that's what I had experienced, pretty much. But they never told me that Jesus preferred to hang out with the "fallen" women and the tax collectors...I am convinced today that He would have been in the bars and the dope houses... or at the least, in the 12 step meetings. Maybe He is there, today. At any rate, the message was put out there tonight, that there is a place for every lost and wandering addict, alkie, liar, or just plain old run-of-the-mill sinner. I know I felt a little better afterward. I hope God was pleased. I'm pretty sure Daniel would have been.