Tuesday, February 2

And so it goes...

I was correct when I surmised that Shep had a lot of OLD cr*p coming up to the surface, and it became apparent to me that it's more than I am willing or (more likely) able to handle. He has to deal with his inner demons. I'd love to help, but ....uh, yeah. That is SO old behavior that I'm not even gonna look at it right now. So, we have accomplished an indefinite pause in the relationship. I feel certain that it is for good, primarily because he seems to be of the opinion that he doesn't need to apply any steps to his life.
So, I am sad. A lot of this is me empathizing. I remember feeling so much of what he seems to be going through, when I was pregnant with my oldest. (Yes, JUST before I got clean) But that's the good part, that I hold onto. Our time together has been good, and I am grateful for it, no doubt. I also am grateful that he can move ahead on his journey without my interfering. I pointed the way for him, and he's seen that miracles happen. I just hate knowing that he's feeling all those awful things. Abandonment is a MOTHER. Rejection, ditto...They are foul spirits, I can feel it. Their boss if a LIAR, so I will pray for them to get away and don't even TRY to come back over here.
So, how's your week, so far?
:)

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