Monday, February 1

Oh, yeah...

So, I had to ask "WHEN were you going to talk to me about this?" When I realized that Shep had not actually stopped drinking, as I had been lead to believe. I didn't know what else to say. I told him that I thought we needed to take a break, to slow things waaay down. He replied that that was what he'd feared, and that he'd trusted me and all this and that, which sounded like it was his old stuff coming up. I understand that. I said to him that recovery is one of the few things in my life that I do NOT play with, and that I could not consider a lifelong relationship with a person who was actively in their addiction. (He told me a while back that he believed himself to be an alcoholic, which is not the issue.) He feels betrayed, I guess. I feel...sad. But also, glad that it's come out, now. I needed help with my tendency to rush, and this has taken the foot OFF of the gas pedal.