Taking a moment to say thanks...

It occurred to me, that I've not gotten much interaction from my "followers", and I know that if I want to see something happen, oftentimes *I* need to step up. 
So, I appreciate you!! I know that many of you have similar struggles to mine, and others have loved ones who have been or are in my shoes. I just hope that you get some useful info or encouragement from this blog. 
I've been slacking in posting personal stuff lately, b/c I'm running on about half of my usual meds, and it makes for an emotional situation... My Sweety says I'm quicker to point out the negative in any given circumstance, which I equate with sounding more like my Mom...(ugh) and that's something I DO NOT want to do.
I'd imagine that the majority of people in my position have played the "I don't really need to be taking X, Y or Z! I can handle this" game, and stopped taking the medications prescribed to them. I personally have done that several times over the years, and although it's not always been purposely (Insurance & pharmacology being what it is), it has always ended with me seeing the difference in how my kids respond to me, and realizing that I can do better for them. This last time I was med-free, I told the Big Guy that if it were just ME, I might just go w/o them, to see what happened. However, it's NOT just me, so part of my caring for my family entails finding the humility to follow directions, even MORE. 
As we are still on the edge of the insurance abyss (Do we have it? Do we not?), I'm feeling my way w/o what the Dr.s say is necessary for my peak performance. I guess I'm willing to do what they say, when I can, For the simple fact that I know it makes life easier for my kids and my sweetheart. 
Someday, who knows?
Anyway, I am so very grateful for you coming over and doing life with me. Please leave a comment so I know who you are. :)  

Oh, yes I DID!!

I finally (2 months after the fact) went to a meeting last Sunday night and collected my Anniversary Token. "XX" it says. My Sponsor said she didn't know what I was doing, but it seems to be working! :-/ I love her as much as I can love any woman, I guess. She seems to be open, emotionally and generous with herself and her time. I can only imagine how that is, right now. (See the other blog for more info on that) Here. I still want what she has, even 20 years later. Now as I've grown to know more about myself, I'm not sure I can actually achieve what Sweet Sandy has, but with a little help from here and there, I'm going to see what I can do. :)




Oh, and the meeting was great. The topic was something about the difference between how happy, joyous and free folks with a program can be, vs. how miserable so many religious people are. I've been to churches a'plenty, and left feeling more alone and hopeless than before I went; and there have been very few times when I left a 12 step meeting feeling worse. Go figure, huh? God led me to AA and AA led me back to God.