A great day to be above ground & sucking air. :)

The weather seems to have turned to a more pleasant place, for now. Not a lot to report, today, but tomorrow I'm going to pick up a Sponsee & go over her 1st step. It's amazing the miracles that occur from a simple thing like following directions. (GO FIGURE!) Things are still in the constant state of flux, here. Big Guy starts new job in 2 days. God's moving us...
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Ha ha

 Have a good Tuesday, friends.

Taking a moment to say thanks...

It occurred to me, that I've not gotten much interaction from my "followers", and I know that if I want to see something happen, oftentimes *I* need to step up. 
So, I appreciate you!! I know that many of you have similar struggles to mine, and others have loved ones who have been or are in my shoes. I just hope that you get some useful info or encouragement from this blog. 
I've been slacking in posting personal stuff lately, b/c I'm running on about half of my usual meds, and it makes for an emotional situation... My Sweety says I'm quicker to point out the negative in any given circumstance, which I equate with sounding more like my Mom...(ugh) and that's something I DO NOT want to do.
I'd imagine that the majority of people in my position have played the "I don't really need to be taking X, Y or Z! I can handle this" game, and stopped taking the medications prescribed to them. I personally have done that several times over the years, and although it's not always been purposely (Insurance & pharmacology being what it is), it has always ended with me seeing the difference in how my kids respond to me, and realizing that I can do better for them. This last time I was med-free, I told the Big Guy that if it were just ME, I might just go w/o them, to see what happened. However, it's NOT just me, so part of my caring for my family entails finding the humility to follow directions, even MORE. 
As we are still on the edge of the insurance abyss (Do we have it? Do we not?), I'm feeling my way w/o what the Dr.s say is necessary for my peak performance. I guess I'm willing to do what they say, when I can, For the simple fact that I know it makes life easier for my kids and my sweetheart. 
Someday, who knows?
Anyway, I am so very grateful for you coming over and doing life with me. Please leave a comment so I know who you are. :)  

In yet another transition...or is it just ME?

Transitioning is why I'm not going to say a lot now. Give me a couple more weeks. Meds gotta get back in line.

I feel like I ought to post a WARNING for this picture, but then I think "It's reality. Addiction IS ugly. It REALLY IS exactly like this." So, I'm not gonna post any such thing. It's life, it's what is waiting for EVERY SINGLE ADDICT, regardless of what your drug of choice may be. This is how we look inside, if not outside, y.e.t.


I found this amazing picture and HAD to share it with you. Each day I'm given at least ONE more reason to stay clean. Here's a REALLY impressive one...and a kinda funny statement, when you're not LIVING it. Thank God, today I don't have to be that person.

About me...

So this is December, 2012. So far the temperatures have felt a lot like winter in the middle of Florida, instead of central Indiana. Balmy, almost. Tomorrow it's supposed to get closer to the norm, they say. I'm kind of enjoying the variety.
I've been pretty much "cheating" on my blogging duties, here for a while, and this post marks my returning to the kind of blogging that reveals a bit more of who I am, in hopes that through my story, you might somehow feel better about living your own story.
I suppose that the best place to begin this new revelationary section is to try to catch you up to what's going on in my world. Wow, now I'm wondering if it's even possible for me to touch briefly on things without this becoming a 500-page novella!

In case we haven't met:
Hi. I'm Abbie. I've been married to the Man o' my Dreams for coming up on 2 years. We met on http://www.christiandatingforfree.com  about 3 years ago. I'd been looking (for him, I now know) for several years, and yes it included kissing more than a couple frogs. I figured out after a while that even on a Christian site, you have to read the ads a lot like you'd read any ad trying to sell something. (Read between the lines. A LOT.) He was living and working at the Fort Wayne, IN. Salvation Army where he'd gotten clean & sober, and my 2 boys and I were living in Franklin, IN. in "subsidized housing" while I worked on a degree in Substance Abuse Counseling. Several years before he & I getting together, I'd found a small church that I'd grown to love.
Prior to recovery, I'd almost exclusively been taught about the harsh/wrathful angry God, which led me to conclude after a while that I'd just as soon not even try to do "right" since I hadn't EVER been able to measure up, even to just the requirements of my earthly father.  Probably halfway into the years of my active addiction, I decided that I'd just focus on being "EVIL".
As far as the details of my life in active addiction, really? If you've ever been an addict or are now, let me assure you, our stories aren't much different. Maybe the locations, the "circles" we ran in might have been different, but what matters, really, is the feelings and the fact that I had been willing to do whatever was required to get the HELL away from ME. Sound familiar?
I suppose I should tell you that before I found drugs and alcohol (self-medicating, you know), I'd already come to the conclusion that there were things in my mind that were, uh, different from everyone else. I still wonder sometimes which came first: the mental illness or the addiction? Not that it really matters, but it is something I wonder about.

I'm the mother of 2 beautiful boys, B & E, and at the moment we cohabitate with 3 cats: Oli, Booger, and Pretty. At different times, we've had Leopard Gekko's, birds, and I also had a little chinchilla for a time, while living in Germany. I've always enjoyed the company of animals over that of humans, and in retrospect I believe that I feel that way due to the dysfunction in my family of origin. The only emotional constants were fear and rage. (Dad did his best, but that's how he was raised. Mom tried to protect me, but it was not an easy proposition.) I was left to find comfort and love from my pet.
Don't get me wrong: my parents did their very best. Don't we all? "This is how I was raised, and so it's what comes naturally" while dealing with the rigors of family life. I knew I never wanted my kids to be as terrified of me as I was of my Dad. Thank God I saw that there was a better way to live, before I had any children of my own.
Well, that's about all I've got for now. Here's the short version of some things I've left out:
I am a Follower of Christ, NOT "religious". My children mean more ot me than they can imagine. I have many regrets where my "parenting" them is concerned, but by the grace of God, I'm learning... I have an odd sense of humor and sometimes I've been known to be "inappropriate". (Whoops!) I don't take myself too seriously, and I rely heavily on the grace of God. I love the country, prefer contemporary Christian music or Worship/Praise tunes. My best friends have primarily been 4-footed, and I'm a little bit crafty.
Blessings & ttfn ; )

Happy Thursday!

Greetings, fellow Wanderers, Seekers, and occasional Dancers! I've gotta tell you, this week has been fraught with good stuff.
One good thing was that I heard God telling me something as I was telling my sweet hubby something entirely different. It was painful to accept, but the gist was that I need to let go of some "dreams" I've been holding onto for SO long. The lesson was, I'm hoping and trusting, that as I let go of the dream, God will fill the empty hand with something FAR better-something of HIS choosing (-which always turns out better, anyway) I won't be surprised if there are other dreams of my own creation that I need to release, but the one that I was confronted with the other day was a good step, I think.
Another good GOOD thing, is that I seem to have somehow gotten past (translation: DELIVERED FROM) the serious resentments I've held onto towards my ex-husband for SO so long. Somehow, that in itself could have a part to play in some other great developments in our little home. I'll just say that there is a new element to the relationship between the Big Guy and the Little One, which has been delightful for all involved.  :) And it's not even Christmas, yet!!
Meanwhile, in the rest of the world, the onslaught of fleas has not yet been conquered. I've tried everything I think short of bombing the apartment and getting the cats to a vet to be flea-dipped. That's likely to take a large chunk out of the (SMALL) Christmas funds, but it's all I want for a present at this point. Poor little critters are all ate up and they are just miserable. God, HELP!!
Take it easy, kids. Let's meet at a meeting soon, k? : )  

Forgiving Ourselves

I'm borrowing this from a friend who said it probably much better than I could have...

So forgiving ourselves....probably the most difficult part of becoming emotionally healthy. H was telling me about a group where the girls shared their secrets and concluded their speaking time with "And I forgive myself." The room had dim lights and ocean music playing as they read their list of secrets. Some of the women read their most hidden secrets and concluded with, "And I *can't* forgive myself." God....that breaks my heart. Every time I think of those girls, all of whom I have now met....although I don't know anyone's secrets or who is finding it impossible to forgive themselves...it gets me.

H and I talked about g-ma and her death bed letting go events. Letting go of the guilt and shame that she had carried for all of her adult life. H said she has thought about her g-ma a lot while in treatment. I know that g-ma would want our girl to be free and not carry to her death bed the burdens and the shame that she herself carried to her's.

I think forgiving ones self must be so very humbling. I would imagine that you come to a place of being desperate enough to accept forgiveness. I think so much of the time we are trained to not take anything that we haven't worked for that we almost can't trust the grace and forgiveness that is offered to us by God. What if we accept it and He takes it back? Or He changes His mind and decides we really aren't worthy after all. Its risky business to lay it all out there. I do believe that as we experience God's forgiveness and acceptance, it brings us to a place of being able to forgive ourselves.

 I know that my experiences with God's forgiveness and unmerited compassion changed my life. My initial time of spiritual awakening was over 7 years ago and He hasn't defaulted on any of what He so graciously and mercifully gave to me....so maybe we are good. Those gifts have made me gentler with myself and with my fellow human beings. I still have some ways to go. I will until I am on *my* death bed because I will continue to make mistakes along the way because I am a mere human. Well meaning, but imperfect in a myriad of ways. My struggle is walking in acceptance of what is being offered to me. 

“I feel like, God expects me to be human. I feel like, God likes me just the way I am: broken and empty and bruised. I feel like, God doesn't look at me and wish that I were something else, because He likes me just this way. I feel like, God doesn't want me to close my eyes and pray for Him to make me holy or for Him to make me pure; because He made me human. I feel like, God already knows I'm human...it is I who needs to learn that.”
― C. Joy Bell C.

Walk gently with one another....
Annette

Progression Rate of Addiction

Intervention Services uses theS.M.A.R.T. Model of Interventions, which tries to outline the idea that the problem isn’t so much a drug or alcohol problem as it is one of impaired coping mechanisms. The drug or alcohol use is just one of many symptoms of this failure to deal with uncomfortable feelings and life situations in a healthy manner. As an alcoholic or addict uses substances to cope with uncomfortable life situations then their ability to deal with these same situations sober becomes less and less. Over time, this failure to deal with life manifests itself in the form of many classic symptoms that can change over time. Perhaps the best model of these changes is what is sometimes referred to as a “Jellinek Curve” or progression curve of addiction. Demonstrated below is an Intervention Services Progression Curve which we use during our presentations which can be applied to both alcohol and drugs.

S.M.A.R.T. Model Progression Curve

How far down can they go?

Understand however, that progression rates, or how long it takes to reach the bottom of the curve, do sometimes vary depending on the substances used, the frequency and the amount. For your information, we have supplied a breakdown of the average progression rates for the most commonly abused substances in the list below:

Approximate Progression Rate of Drugs

Substance Progression Rate

Alcohol 10 to 30 years

Barbiturates 2 to 7 years

Benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, Klonipin, etc) 5 to 10 years

Cocaine 2 to 10 years

Crack 1 to 5 years

Marijuana 10 to 30 years

Methamphetamine 2 to 7 years *

Opiates (Heroin, Oxycontin, Vicadin, etc) 2 to 7 years

Methadone, Suboxone 3 to 10 years

Club Drugs (Ecstasy, LSD, GHB, Ketamine, etc) Unknown

Inhalants (huffing) Unknown

A common misconception is that if you switch from one substance to another then you start at the top of the progression curve again. In actuality, if you do change substances, then you will take over roughly where you left off on the previous substance’s progression curve. For example, let’s say that you spent 10 years drinking and started experiencing some problems and were somewhere around the middle of the alcohol progression curve. Then you decided to quit drinking but switched over to a much more rapid progression substance such as cocaine. Basically you would progress more rapidly but you would continue at themiddle of the progression curve even though you had never touched the new substance before. Oftentimes we will see an addict who has been drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana for years at a slow steady decline and then he switches to opiates or crack cocaine and then the progression speeds up. The family then mistakenly feels that their loved one “has a crack or heroin problem“ because the decline is so sudden, but in actuality the problem has existed for years at a much slower rate with a different substance or activity.

SPECIAL NOTE: Many interventionists consider methamphetamine the most dangerous of all interventions due to their explosive, random, sometimes violent nature. This difficulty is due to the fact that by the time a methamphetamine user reaches the bottom of the progression curve he is oftentimes delusional, psychotic, or even insane.

For more valuable information, please go to Intervention Services Inc
Peace out ~ ab

Welcome, friends!

Can you imagine my surprise when I discovered that someone mentioned in a previous post ("Recovering...") had made the special effort to stop by and see my blog?! I'm so tickled to know that I've still got so much power and control over those living in the problem.  It just tickles me to remember how it was to be so new to the world, minus the security blanket of my drug of choice AND still struggling to be in charge.
 All the things the old timers told me about what happens to those who stop the drugs w/o making any real spiritual/emotional changes, are clearly true. I'm reminded of the old saying "There's a God, & I'm not Him." Funny to have met someone who's still so adamantly rebelling against that simple truth. I am so grateful today, to have found the peace and joy that can only be found in a right relationship with my Creator.
I am grateful, for sure.
So glad to see who I'm not, anymore.
: )

Recovering...with a little help from my friends...

It has been quite a while since I've posted here because I have no idea why it's stopped refreshing and/or showing up on the timeline thingy (on the left side usually, under blogs you follow), and therefore I don't know if anyone even knows it still exists...
So, I'm hoping to get that straightened out, but in the meantime, please go to the FUNCTIONING blog, "Abbie in Wonderland" @   www.abbieaw.blogspot.com
By the way, The subject line was initiated by a recent experience I had with a "recovery program" being conducted in a local church. Turns out it is an ego-driven "class" being controlled by a couple with a total of maybe 3 years...DRY. Abstinent, maybe, but seriously, it's not anything that's likely to ever produce anything like the spirituality I've found in the 12-step programs. I'm not sure what, if anything, to say or do about it, but I am certain that if the Pastor were aware of the agenda in this group, he'd be pretty upset. The Pastor is a wonderful and Christlike man. The Directors of the group have the typical ego-driven need for, well, let's just say it's all about THEM.

So, I'm remaining happy, joyous and free, for the most part, with help from my friends and my God. NOT this odd group.

5 Reasons Addicts Leave Treatment Early – And How to Prevent It

By David Sack, M.D.

Getting an addict into drug rehab isn’t always an easy task. Getting them to stay there can be even harder. Here are five of the most common reasons people leave drug rehab against medical advice, along with suggestions to help the addict stay committed to their recovery.



1. “Detox is too painful.”

Research shows that the first week of drug rehab is the time when most addicts ask themselves, “What the heck am I doing here?” Withdrawal symptoms, drug cravings and an unfamiliar environment can fill the addict with anxiety at the same time they are deprived of their primary coping mechanism: drugs. Some addicts rationalize that they felt better when using drugs and give up on rehab before treatment really begins.

Prevention Tip: Detox can be made more comfortable with medication and alternative therapies such as neurofeedback, acupuncture and massage. Even if the addict isn’t feeling great, they should try to get involved in as many treatment activities as possible.

Rather than isolating, their peers will help them realize they are not alone and see the hope that treatment brings. The earlier the addict develops trust and rapport with a therapist, the more likely they will listen to the therapist’s recommendations and push through the uncertainty.


2. “I’m not like these people.”

This is a common assertion made after the addict attends their first 12-Step meeting or group therapy session. It is the nature of the disease for addicts to think they are different, smarter or stronger than other addicts. This belief allows them to put up emotional walls between themselves and others and to avoid doing the soul-searching work of recovery.

Prevention Tip: If an individual would fare best in the company of like-minded peers, try to find an appropriate drug rehab program for their needs. Once in treatment, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help the addict turn their focus on differences into recognition of similarities. Education about denial can teach the addict that their disease is driving them to rationalize leaving rehab.



3. “I don’t like it here.”

If an addict wants to go back to using drugs, they must find a justification to do so, both for their own peace of mind and to appease their loved ones who desperately want them to get well. Rather than accepting responsibility for their own recovery, they may place the blame elsewhere – often on the food, accommodations, rules, treatment schedule, staff or other patients.

Prevention Tip: In some cases, the addict’s concerns may be legitimate. Perhaps something can be done to make them more comfortable, such as changing roommates or switching therapists. Or perhaps another treatment center would be a better match, particularly if the individual struggles with co-occurring mental health disorders that aren’t being addressed.

It is always wise to stay involved with treatment and listen to a client’s concerns to determine whether they can be addressed or the individual is merely looking for an excuse to leave. In the latter case, it is essential for family members and other treatment professionals to present a united front, offering loving reminders about why the addict needs to complete treatment. Family involvement and family therapy aid in the process, but “rescuing” an addict from drug rehab merely enables the addiction to continue.



4. “I already know this stuff.”

In addiction recovery, there are certain themes that get repeated throughout treatment. This is because repetition is how we learn. Sometimes it isn’t until the second or third go-around that the addict truly embraces a particular recovery principle or gains new insight. In some cases, the addict may use this excuse to avoid dealing with the painful memories and feelings being explored in therapy.

Prevention Tip: There are many ways to show addicts that no matter how much they think they know, they can always learn more. These include having outside speakers share their stories of recovery, offering alternative therapeutic modalities that the addict hasn’t yet explored, maintaining a full schedule of recovery-related activities, and discussing the likely outcome if the addict follows through on their plan to leave.



5. “I can do this on my own.”

At some point during treatment, most addicts develop a type of confidence that is both healing and potentially damaging. After maintaining their sobriety for a while, they feel healthier than ever and are assured of their ability to stay clean. It is at this point that some believe they are “cured” of addiction and anxiously wish to return to their families and careers.

Prevention Tip: Research shows that the longer an addict stays in treatment the better their chances of avoiding relapse. Believing they “know it all” may be a sign of progress but is also a red flag that more education and treatment are necessary. Step-down levels of care (e.g., moving from inpatient to outpatient or a transitional living environment) allow addicts to test their new recovery skills with ongoing professional support.

In many ways, drug rehab is an exercise in faith. We ask addicts to draw on coping, interpersonal and distress tolerance skills they haven’t yet developed, based on the assurance of others that recovery is possible. Change is hard for an addict, but stillness can be even harder. With the support of family and a team of professionals, addicts can stay still long enough to experience the many rewards of recovery.

David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine. He is CEO of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of treatment centers that focus on addiction treatment, eating disorders, and dual diagnosis.

This and other good info HERE

The post in which I get to talk about Christ AND drugs!! (GET DOWN!)

Ok, So last Sunday we had a "family meeting" at church. The jist of it is this: Our Senior Pastor left his position a cpl years ago (not happy about it, but he'd gotten away from preaching the Bible, and we're just funny about that), and we got to keep the EXTRAVAGANT double mortgage on the building that HE had to have built (I guess a statue would have been a tad too obvious), along with the crazy-big bills that come with maintaining such a pretty/large place. So, we had this meeting, where everyone who's stayed since then - if you've experienced a kind of split, you know it's exactly like a divorce 8-( - attemded,. and we discussed what we're going to do. The fact is, like finances can wreck a marriage, the money situation has become a source of great stress and turmoil. Senior Pastor Guy was the only person who pushed for the building that's easily twice the size needed, and like in a divorce situation, it looks like we're going to have to move to a more manageable-sized place. People were talking about starting a daycare to try to raise more income (and keep where we are, physically), leasing the building out to another church, or selling some of the land....  
*Ok, I say "have to move", but honestly, short of a really big miracle, it's the only thing that's going to work, and so "get to move" is more appropriate.*
Anyway, the topic went around to ministries. They've taken a serious hit since almost all the money coming in has been used to try to keep the building up. Our Pastoress : ) and her hubby have been consistent in encouraging and helping with any kind of ministry anyone wants to do, but there's not been any financial backing for a little while, now. The Big Guy and I were sitting and observing, and there were good and encouraging things brought up, and we were all in agreement that as a body, we are going to give some lengthy prayer to hearing what God wants us to do from here.
At some point, I noticed that I'd gotten a call & voicemail from an unknown number. 
After we got back home, I listened to the vm and it was from an acquaintance in AA, telling me about his d-i-l and her Meth problem. He asked me to call him back & when I did, he explained more of the situation. 

Nicknames for methamphetamine vary from region to region.
Nicknames in the English speaking world include:


"meth"  "ice" "shaboo" "crystal" "crystal meth" "crystal speed" "glass" "Tina" (gay community) "batu"    
"batunas" "crank" "white" "scanté" "czecho"
For more info click on me

Long story short, I ended up sending our Pastoress a text, about talking about people's ministries last night, and while I was still there, recieving a call out of the blue (It's been months since I'd seen the guy in AA, and longer since I've gotten a 12-step call!)to help with an addict. "Coincidence?" I asked her.
The reply came soon:
"I think not!"
So. Yay God.
P.S. that same Sunday, the hubby & I celebrated a year of marital bliss! Ok, not maybe BLISS, but way closer than either of us has ever DREAMT of.

So happy together...

One week into the new year...

I've got a couple of things I want to share with you, but I'm not sure where to start.

Last week, I got together with the 2nd most influential woman in my life: My Other (Step) Mom. It'd been at least a couple of years since we'd seen each other, though there were a few emails and phone calls between us.
See, we each live on opposite ends of a metropolis, and it's just tricky to get away for the time it takes, and the gas it requires, etc etc etc. Blah blah. Ok, well, regardless of whatever the real-or-imagined reasons, we hadn't set down to chat for a long time. It was very nice. My Other Mom is a charming and warm woman, and for the most part she always has been. (I have to take some credit for the turbulent teen years, right?) Ok, we both survived. Can't ask for more than that.
So, The Big Guy and I got to hang out with my Other Mom for a couple of hours, during which I spilled the top off of my YUMMY whipped cream-topped-vanilla-coffee thingy and only ate part of it from off the table. (Sometimes I still do things to see if there is a reaction. LOL But I'm much better than I used to be.) We chatted about...Well, I'm sure it was important things, but I can't really recall. That's just about how I roll, though. I remember the feelings, and they were warm and loving. I appreciated that the Big Guy went to the boy's room at one point, giving OM the opportunity to lean in & tell me that she, too, saw what a great person he is, and how much he cares for me (usually in the past, I'd tended to be the "caring" part of the relationship. Thank God that's over!!) And I'm sure I blushed, b/c I still can't get over the MIRACLE that is this marriage.
Really, 2 recovering alkie/druggies, really in love AND friends with each other like this?? "Oh, Hell to the No." to quote a friend.
So, we're going to plan on getting together once a month, now, since we're both ridiculously busy-well, I'm gonna have to go with unorganised for me, but she can be "busy"- and it's not everyone who has a person in their life who encourages and loves them the way my OM does me.
It was very good to see that familiar smile and hear her distinct laugh. (Don't go getting all self-conscious, now, OM!!) LOL
I trust that you, dear reader, are having a satisfying and productive 2012, so far...?

Love tells the Truth

I hope you've got your headphones/speakers on!

This, my friends, is for you. And for  me. In my experience, nothing can sooth my ravaged soul more than sweet melodies. This video is just awesome. Idk if I'll be back before Christmas Day, so just in case, I pray that whoever reads this will (watch the video) and be blessed over the holidays...

Bracing for the holidays

Hi, friends : )
For many of us "recovering" folks, the holidays can be quite a test. Spending time with our biological families, while there are usually some nice things about it, can also bring up old hurts and scars from the past, making the holidays kind of an ordeal.
I know that for me, even having done the Sober Holiday Thing for several years, now, I still find myself anxious and unsure of protocol. We haven't any actively users or drinkers in our little family, now, but not all of us are recovering, either, so the insanity can get pretty silly at times. There are the fears of forgetting a present (ADD, thank you very much), wearing something not approved by Mom, who's bringing someone new to the party, and will we like them or just talk about them ruthlessly after they've gone, to mention just a few of the things tearing around in my mind. Dad used to call it "Freight Train Brain". Perhaps you're familiar with it? It usually reminds me that I could stand some extra meetings right about now.
Anyway, I'm going to go put my facebook status on afk indefinately, so I'll talk to you later. I hope you're able to find a nice quiet spot in the midst of your "celebrations" for when you need to decompress.

Another day, another...?

Yes! Today, I am going to have the first opportunity to experience being a true, honest, hundred percent employed "CVC Supervisor"! For those who might not know, this means that when a decision has been made for parents to have "supervised" visitation with their children, I get to help. There will be families who are using our services under duress, and those who are coming to our program of their own accord. Either way, the point is, that I will be helping to provide a safe place for the families to begin what will hopefully end in reconciliation.
There were 3 other women who began this job at the same time as I, and we seem to be from rather different backgrounds. I grinned to myself when our boss said that we all brought different things to the table, very important skills and gifts, etc. I'm quite certain I am the only one of us with an extensive history of drug use and abuse! One of the ladies is a recent graduate of a local college, another is head of another "social services organization", and I'm not certain, but the 4th might just be a "Normie". :o)
I'm not sure what I've told the boys, but after church this morning the older one was asking me things like "Are you going to have any kind of weapons there with you, like in case the parents get out of hand?" Then he went into asking if I might be able to get a Taser?!
Like I said, I'm not sure what I've said to them previously. Apparently I mentioned the possibility of there being trouble, but I suppose I ought to have been a bit more careful about my choice of wording.
Truth is, I don't know if there will be any "excitement". I know it's going to involve a lot of tearful children and potentially some rather upset parents, but as far as anything I might have to intervene in, only God knows. I'm guessing that my background as an addict, added in with the classes in Crisis Intervention and the rest of the "Substance Abuse" curriculum are the main things that I uniquely bring to the place. I certainly look forward to the people-watching I'm in for. I can't remember a time when observing folks hasn't been tres intriguing to me.
Oh, the other thing I'll be doing, as well as watching and listening, is taking notes on anything "note-worthy". I don't know how I will approach all this, considering that each situation will be a different set of circumstances. But for the court-appointed ones, I'll probably go into it letting them think I'm easily fooled. I know better than most (well, most Normies, for sure)how easily a person can put on an act for outsiders, in order to get what they want. The lessons in manipulation and subtle abuse techniques that I experienced from marital experiment #1 have never left me. I am grateful for them, today. Wow. That's so crazy. The Alcoholics Anonymous big Book talks about things that will happen as we go along this journey called recovery, and one of them goes like this:

"We will not regret the past, nor wish to close the door on it."

I can't say that I don't regret the abuse I've been through, but I can see how God has faithfully turned it into something that we can use for good. And, frankly, if I can help a child to get out of that kind of existence, and/or prevent it from happening in just one family, then it WAS worth it.
Most of the time, if there has been a decree of "Supervised Visitation", it's safe to say that SOMEONE has made some poor decisions, at least. More than likely, I'm going to wager a guess that most of the time it is the case. Not having begun this job, yet, I guess I'll have to report later whether this is the case or not.
But I'm really excited about it!

Oh, and I've been checking out an online introduction thingy, too. Made one new friend,I think. I have to tell you this joke, while I'm thinking of it---and it DOES NOT apply, here, tyvm:

How can you tell when a couple of addicts are on their second date?
Have you heard this one???

By the Moving truck outside.
ROFL!!!!

Oh, you liked it, admit it!!

ciao, babies!
ab