Well, I thought I oughta tell you about an "End of the World" partyt I got to go to last weekend. I know that for most of my life as an addict, I'd have been WONDERING what had happened while I was there. However, this year, as I recently celebrated having been clean for 20 years, things went quite a bit differently than way back then.
My dearest friend, Barb & her 3 sons came up from her home in Tn to visit with her Mom, who lives just a short drive from me. Since the 2012 Blizzard had not yet hit, it was a nice drive for my 2 boys and I to go and spend a few hours.
Unlike my family, Barb's little klan seems to have somehow managed to sidestep the addict gene, so they occasionally have a little "medicinal" recreation, let's say. While we were making sure I remembered how to get to (Barb's) Mom's house, Barb made sure I knew that Mom was planning on "partaking" at her party, having never done so before. At 75 years of age, I found this pretty funny-knowing the experiences of 2 out of her 4 kids to have been similar to my own, it seems like Mom woulda had to have checked thingsout by now, right? But, she'd apparently been hold out for the end of the world, and verily, the time had come.
Long and short of it: by the time the boys & I arrived, there was a small pan of brownies that was untouched "the Clean batch", and about half of the LARGER batch was gone. It was a familiar sight, with everyone sitting around the table, glazed eyes and zoned looks ... I smiled and started picking on the closest of Barb's boys, telling him he looked REALLY thirsty....He grinned that red-eyed grin that so many of us know, oh, so well. Barb's Mom didn't particularly look any different but I learned later that she had had a couple of the "good" brownies and seemed to have fun.
The thing about this whole scene that made me want to post about it, is this: I was happy to get to hang out with my friend for a few hours, since it only happens every few years, and I was prepared to deal with the fact that one of my long-time favorites was going to be there. Honestly, knowing that Mom's house is HUGE, I only had a minimal concern about the odor (didn't know that they were going to be eating, for the most part) bothering me, and having thought it through (the inevitable consequences if I chose to use) so many times, I wasn't uncomfortable at all about the proximity. A couple of reasons that also helped me know that I would leave there with the same clean date that I arrived there with:
1. My boys were with me, and I am determined to give them reason to make wiser choices than I did...
2. My Darling husband inspires me to keep up the good fight.
3. My relationship with my Savior gives me strength to keep my priorities in mind.
4. I haven't been through the ________ of the last 20 years to give away my clean date on a silly whim!!
5. Oh, and also, there's NO WAY there woulda been enough of ANYTHING to satisfy my need for numbness if I would have began the self-destruct, again.
So, it was great seeing my best friend from 8th grade and her sweet boys. I always enjoy spending time with Barb. We understand each other like not many people I know. I support her even when I don't agree with her, and I know that she feels the same toward me.
I am hopeful that someday in the NOT too distant future, we will again be neighbors. Until then, we'll just have to be long distance BUDS Friends. LOL
Yes! Today, I am going to have the first opportunity to experience being a true, honest, hundred percent employed "CVC Supervisor"! For those who might not know, this means that when a decision has been made for parents to have "supervised" visitation with their children, I get to help. There will be families who are using our services under duress, and those who are coming to our program of their own accord. Either way, the point is, that I will be helping to provide a safe place for the families to begin what will hopefully end in reconciliation.
There were 3 other women who began this job at the same time as I, and we seem to be from rather different backgrounds. I grinned to myself when our boss said that we all brought different things to the table, very important skills and gifts, etc. I'm quite certain I am the only one of us with an extensive history of drug use and abuse! One of the ladies is a recent graduate of a local college, another is head of another "social services organization", and I'm not certain, but the 4th might just be a "Normie". :o)
I'm not sure what I've told the boys, but after church this morning the older one was asking me things like "Are you going to have any kind of weapons there with you, like in case the parents get out of hand?" Then he went into asking if I might be able to get a Taser?!
Like I said, I'm not sure what I've said to them previously. Apparently I mentioned the possibility of there being trouble, but I suppose I ought to have been a bit more careful about my choice of wording.
Truth is, I don't know if there will be any "excitement". I know it's going to involve a lot of tearful children and potentially some rather upset parents, but as far as anything I might have to intervene in, only God knows. I'm guessing that my background as an addict, added in with the classes in Crisis Intervention and the rest of the "Substance Abuse" curriculum are the main things that I uniquely bring to the place. I certainly look forward to the people-watching I'm in for. I can't remember a time when observing folks hasn't been tres intriguing to me.
Oh, the other thing I'll be doing, as well as watching and listening, is taking notes on anything "note-worthy". I don't know how I will approach all this, considering that each situation will be a different set of circumstances. But for the court-appointed ones, I'll probably go into it letting them think I'm easily fooled. I know better than most (well, most Normies, for sure)how easily a person can put on an act for outsiders, in order to get what they want. The lessons in manipulation and subtle abuse techniques that I experienced from marital experiment #1 have never left me. I am grateful for them, today. Wow. That's so crazy. The Alcoholics Anonymous big Book talks about things that will happen as we go along this journey called recovery, and one of them goes like this:
"We will not regret the past, nor wish to close the door on it."
I can't say that I don't regret the abuse I've been through, but I can see how God has faithfully turned it into something that we can use for good. And, frankly, if I can help a child to get out of that kind of existence, and/or prevent it from happening in just one family, then it WAS worth it.
Most of the time, if there has been a decree of "Supervised Visitation", it's safe to say that SOMEONE has made some poor decisions, at least. More than likely, I'm going to wager a guess that most of the time it is the case. Not having begun this job, yet, I guess I'll have to report later whether this is the case or not.
But I'm really excited about it!
Oh, and I've been checking out an online introduction thingy, too. Made one new friend,I think. I have to tell you this joke, while I'm thinking of it---and it DOES NOT apply, here, tyvm:
How can you tell when a couple of addicts are on their second date?
Have you heard this one???
By the Moving truck outside.
ROFL!!!!
Oh, you liked it, admit it!!
ciao, babies!
ab
