A great day to be above ground & sucking air. :)

The weather seems to have turned to a more pleasant place, for now. Not a lot to report, today, but tomorrow I'm going to pick up a Sponsee & go over her 1st step. It's amazing the miracles that occur from a simple thing like following directions. (GO FIGURE!) Things are still in the constant state of flux, here. Big Guy starts new job in 2 days. God's moving us...
"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Ha ha

 Have a good Tuesday, friends.

Spring break already?!

Hiya! I've been away for a couple of weeks, now, and the best excuse I can give you is that I've gotten a new phone (2, actually, I had to return the first new one after ALMOST mastering it! UGH!!), and it's been kind of consuming me, as I try to figure out all the cool stuff it's got. (I got a cheap-ish Android. Just the basics, but WOW!) We stayed with Straight Talk, as our providers, even though their customer service HAS to be the ABSOLUTE worst. As I say that, I realize that I've not dealt with many Customer Service ppl, and it's possible that there are way worse ones out there. Eep! O.o
Anyway, that's not why I wanted to check in. Here's why:
I've been texting & emailing with a long-lost friend, lately. She's wonderful and so strong. She's got over 5 years clean, which is no small feat, in itself, and recently had a baby. Awesome, huh? Yeah, it kinda is. Then, you factor in her older son's struggle with (untreated) depression -lives with his dad-and failing grades in school, and you add the constant turmoil with a violent and psychotic ex, and custodial drama with the baby-daddy, and her own physical health issues...and it just makes it all too clear how getting clean is NOT the end of the race. It's a start in the right direction, but life, itself is SO much more complicated than "get off the _____, and live right!" one might think.
There's a saying in meetings about clearing away the wreckage of the past, and my dear friend, like everyone who has had a chemical dependency, has quite an accumulation of wreckage. But she does have one strong asset going for her that the majority of addicts don't, necessarily: She's got a Bible-believing support group, in addition to the step meetings, and she know where to find the answers. She's so smart and willing to do what she must.
I really can't say how proud I am of her, and how much I'm praying and rooting for her to get the dragons slayed. Most of us come into recovery with relationship (hostage) issues, and I'd bet a large majority of addicts and alcoholics have underlying mental health issues, too. These are just a couple of the things that have to be addressed to get to the real goal: Peace. Happiness (occasionally, at least). Self-supporting through our own contributions.... and, basically just LIVING rather than surviving.
So, when you're counting your blessings, and saying your prayers, keep this in mind, will ya? And add my friend to your prayers.
Thanks. God bless you.

Something for ya to chew on, preferably while not drinking. ;)

‎"Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, 'I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time.' As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping off place. He will wish for the end." p. 151-152, Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition.

To get to the place where one actually likes -- make that loves -- sobriety is the key, I think. To be happy with one's sobriety is to want to keep it and to take action to safeguard and maintain it. There is no longer anything to "get away with". (Susan Lauren)

The Legacy of Amy Winehouse

I don't know about you, but I could stand some encouraging stuff to read right about now. I guess this is one way that the parents of addicts can help those left behind.

The Legacy of Amy Winehouse | The Fix

P.S. I've got to mention this, Mr. Winehouse: an addiction to ALCOHOL does not a CLEAN person make. A drug is a drug is a drug. HELLOOOOOO.

Nobody plans to lose their virginity here...

Go to this link & see the ugly truth. "Social user"? Really? That's a good one.



View Our Meth Ads & Commercials - Meth Project

The End of The World...has come and gone.

Well, I thought I oughta tell  you about an "End of the World" partyt I got to go to last weekend. I know that for most of my life as an addict, I'd have been WONDERING what had happened while I was there. However, this year, as I recently celebrated having been clean for 20 years, things went quite a bit differently than way back then. 
My dearest friend, Barb & her 3 sons came up from her home in Tn to visit with her Mom, who lives just a short drive from me. Since the 2012 Blizzard had not yet hit, it was a nice drive for my 2 boys and I to go and spend a few hours. 
Unlike my family, Barb's little klan seems to have somehow managed to sidestep the addict gene, so they occasionally have a little "medicinal" recreation, let's say. While we were making sure I remembered how to get to (Barb's) Mom's house, Barb made sure I knew that Mom was planning on "partaking" at her party, having never done so before. At 75 years of age, I found this pretty funny-knowing the experiences of 2 out of her 4 kids to have been similar to my own, it seems like Mom woulda had to have checked thingsout by now, right? But, she'd apparently been hold out for the end of the world, and verily, the time had come. 
Long and short of it: by the time the boys & I arrived, there was a small pan of brownies that was untouched "the Clean batch", and about half of the LARGER batch was gone. It was a familiar sight, with everyone sitting around the table, glazed eyes and zoned looks ... I smiled and started picking on the closest of Barb's boys, telling him he looked REALLY thirsty....He grinned that red-eyed grin that so many of us know, oh, so well. Barb's Mom didn't particularly look any different but I learned later that she had had a couple of the "good" brownies and seemed to have fun.
The thing about this whole scene that made me want to post about it, is this: I was happy  to  get to hang out with my friend for a few hours, since it only happens every few years, and  I was prepared to deal with the fact that one of my long-time favorites was going to be there. Honestly, knowing that Mom's house is HUGE, I only had a minimal concern about the odor (didn't know that they were going to be eating, for the most part) bothering me, and having thought it through (the inevitable consequences if I chose to use) so many times, I wasn't uncomfortable at all about the proximity. A couple of reasons that also helped me know that I would leave there with the same clean date that I arrived there with:
1. My boys were with me, and I am determined to give them reason to make wiser choices than I did...
2. My Darling husband inspires me to keep up the good fight.
3. My relationship with my Savior gives me strength to keep my priorities in mind.
4. I haven't been through the ________ of the last 20 years to give away my clean date on a silly whim!! 
5. Oh, and also, there's NO WAY there woulda been enough of ANYTHING to satisfy my need for numbness if I would have began the self-destruct, again. 
So, it was great seeing my best friend from 8th grade and her sweet boys. I always enjoy spending time with Barb. We understand each other like not many people I know. I support her even when I don't agree with her, and I know that she feels the same toward me. 
I am hopeful that someday in the NOT too distant future, we will again be neighbors. Until then, we'll just have to be long distance BUDS Friends. LOL

About me...

So this is December, 2012. So far the temperatures have felt a lot like winter in the middle of Florida, instead of central Indiana. Balmy, almost. Tomorrow it's supposed to get closer to the norm, they say. I'm kind of enjoying the variety.
I've been pretty much "cheating" on my blogging duties, here for a while, and this post marks my returning to the kind of blogging that reveals a bit more of who I am, in hopes that through my story, you might somehow feel better about living your own story.
I suppose that the best place to begin this new revelationary section is to try to catch you up to what's going on in my world. Wow, now I'm wondering if it's even possible for me to touch briefly on things without this becoming a 500-page novella!

In case we haven't met:
Hi. I'm Abbie. I've been married to the Man o' my Dreams for coming up on 2 years. We met on http://www.christiandatingforfree.com  about 3 years ago. I'd been looking (for him, I now know) for several years, and yes it included kissing more than a couple frogs. I figured out after a while that even on a Christian site, you have to read the ads a lot like you'd read any ad trying to sell something. (Read between the lines. A LOT.) He was living and working at the Fort Wayne, IN. Salvation Army where he'd gotten clean & sober, and my 2 boys and I were living in Franklin, IN. in "subsidized housing" while I worked on a degree in Substance Abuse Counseling. Several years before he & I getting together, I'd found a small church that I'd grown to love.
Prior to recovery, I'd almost exclusively been taught about the harsh/wrathful angry God, which led me to conclude after a while that I'd just as soon not even try to do "right" since I hadn't EVER been able to measure up, even to just the requirements of my earthly father.  Probably halfway into the years of my active addiction, I decided that I'd just focus on being "EVIL".
As far as the details of my life in active addiction, really? If you've ever been an addict or are now, let me assure you, our stories aren't much different. Maybe the locations, the "circles" we ran in might have been different, but what matters, really, is the feelings and the fact that I had been willing to do whatever was required to get the HELL away from ME. Sound familiar?
I suppose I should tell you that before I found drugs and alcohol (self-medicating, you know), I'd already come to the conclusion that there were things in my mind that were, uh, different from everyone else. I still wonder sometimes which came first: the mental illness or the addiction? Not that it really matters, but it is something I wonder about.

I'm the mother of 2 beautiful boys, B & E, and at the moment we cohabitate with 3 cats: Oli, Booger, and Pretty. At different times, we've had Leopard Gekko's, birds, and I also had a little chinchilla for a time, while living in Germany. I've always enjoyed the company of animals over that of humans, and in retrospect I believe that I feel that way due to the dysfunction in my family of origin. The only emotional constants were fear and rage. (Dad did his best, but that's how he was raised. Mom tried to protect me, but it was not an easy proposition.) I was left to find comfort and love from my pet.
Don't get me wrong: my parents did their very best. Don't we all? "This is how I was raised, and so it's what comes naturally" while dealing with the rigors of family life. I knew I never wanted my kids to be as terrified of me as I was of my Dad. Thank God I saw that there was a better way to live, before I had any children of my own.
Well, that's about all I've got for now. Here's the short version of some things I've left out:
I am a Follower of Christ, NOT "religious". My children mean more ot me than they can imagine. I have many regrets where my "parenting" them is concerned, but by the grace of God, I'm learning... I have an odd sense of humor and sometimes I've been known to be "inappropriate". (Whoops!) I don't take myself too seriously, and I rely heavily on the grace of God. I love the country, prefer contemporary Christian music or Worship/Praise tunes. My best friends have primarily been 4-footed, and I'm a little bit crafty.
Blessings & ttfn ; )

Happy Thursday!

Greetings, fellow Wanderers, Seekers, and occasional Dancers! I've gotta tell you, this week has been fraught with good stuff.
One good thing was that I heard God telling me something as I was telling my sweet hubby something entirely different. It was painful to accept, but the gist was that I need to let go of some "dreams" I've been holding onto for SO long. The lesson was, I'm hoping and trusting, that as I let go of the dream, God will fill the empty hand with something FAR better-something of HIS choosing (-which always turns out better, anyway) I won't be surprised if there are other dreams of my own creation that I need to release, but the one that I was confronted with the other day was a good step, I think.
Another good GOOD thing, is that I seem to have somehow gotten past (translation: DELIVERED FROM) the serious resentments I've held onto towards my ex-husband for SO so long. Somehow, that in itself could have a part to play in some other great developments in our little home. I'll just say that there is a new element to the relationship between the Big Guy and the Little One, which has been delightful for all involved.  :) And it's not even Christmas, yet!!
Meanwhile, in the rest of the world, the onslaught of fleas has not yet been conquered. I've tried everything I think short of bombing the apartment and getting the cats to a vet to be flea-dipped. That's likely to take a large chunk out of the (SMALL) Christmas funds, but it's all I want for a present at this point. Poor little critters are all ate up and they are just miserable. God, HELP!!
Take it easy, kids. Let's meet at a meeting soon, k? : )  

It works IF YOU WORK it.

Why the Hostility Toward the 12 Steps?

These misconceptions about 12-Step programs could interfere with recovery

Published on November 20, 2012 by David Sack, M.D. in Where Science Meets the Steps

Few approaches to addiction generate as much controversy as 12-Step recovery. On one side are the ardent supporters of the program, some of whom credit it with saving their lives. On the other side are the critics and those who found that the program didn’t resonate with them or even hindered their recovery. Both have valid points, and both, in the end, are seeking answers to a problem that defies easy solutions.
It is understandable that 12-Step recovery would generate such strong opposing views. The program touches on fundamental questions everyone has to answer for themselves. Still, it works for many where other approaches fail – and that, to me, is enough to warrant further investigation.
Although it is by no means a perfect program, many of the objections to 12-Step recovery are based on widespread misconceptions. Let’s clear up a few of the most common misunderstandings:
#1 You have to be religious or believe in God to make the program work.

The 12 Steps contain numerous references to God or a higher power, and some meetings conclude with a prayer. Although the Steps were initially conceived from a Christian point of view, the core principles have been beneficial for millions of people who do not believe in God. Like other texts and programs, the 12 Steps are a series of words and concepts that are open to interpretation.
Some people have difficulty maintaining abstinence by willpower alone and need to look outside themselves to a “higher power” to change their behavior. A higher power can be a religious deity or entity, but it can also be the power of a group working toward a common goal, nature or some other outside force. If you feel uncomfortable with the spirituality of a particular group, keep searching until you find a closer match.
#2 Powerlessness frees the addict from accepting responsibility.
While the initial choice to use drugs or alcohol is within the individual’s control, once physical or psychological dependence sets in, they have lost control. Despite repeated attempts to quit, they continue using even in the face of job loss, financial and legal troubles, and other negative consequences. Powerlessness occurs because prolonged drug abuse changes the structure and function of the brain, and it takes time in sobriety to repair the damage.
Powerlessness does not mean that the addict is inherently flawed, exempt from thinking for themselves or incapable of recovery, or that they can rely on their higher power to fix everything without taking steps to improve their own lives. That would contradict the entire premise of the 12-Step program. Instead, it is a statement about the nature of the disease, designed to remove the blame and shame that often prevent addicts from getting help, and to show addicts one way of reclaiming power over their lives.
#3 Addicts substitute their addiction with a dependence on 12-Step meetings.
As a chronic, relapsing disease, long-term care is vital for sustained addiction recovery. If meetings provide some recovering addicts with the support and fellowship they need, they are encouraged to keep going as long as they wish. In the early stages, people may benefit from frequent attendance, which often diminishes over time as they develop other support systems and become more firmly grounded in their recovery.
Addicted or not, everyone needs support. If recovering addicts find that support in 12-Step meetings, they should continue to go. This type of ongoing participation in a program that improves members’ lives is very different from a destructive drug or alcohol dependency.
#4 The 12-Step program is a cult.
Twelve-Step programs have overarching principles and traditions that may seem unusual to people unfamiliar with addiction and recovery. It is a close-knit group of people who share similar struggles, but this does not make it a cult. People are free to participate or not, and to take what works for them and leave the rest. There is hope that participants will embrace the wisdom of some of the 12-Step principles but they are also encouraged to think critically and to find their own way.
#5 There are too many rules.
Twelve-Step recovery is full of guiding principles and suggestions, but there are actually very few rules. Working the Steps is a choice participants make, of their own volition, every day. You can come and go as you choose, adapt the program to suit your needs, and if you relapse, the group will welcome you back with open hearts.
The 12-Step principles are not random or haphazard. Rather, they address specific deficits in learning, memory, empathy and other areas impacted by drug abuse. Sharing stories, along with routinely scheduled meetings and oft-repeated mantras, for example, help addicts remember the next right thing to do even when their thinking is still clouded by drugs.
#6 Twelve-Step recovery is for old men, losers and people who are too weak to do it on their own.
This misconception is based on inaccurate and outdated information. Addiction is a chronic, progressive illness, not an issue of willpower, and it affects all types of people. The opposite of weak, it takes tremendous strength and courage to reach out for help. Some people may be able to recover on their own, but most cannot – and there is no shame in that. People with other chronic diseases do not expect to heal themselves, nor should addicts. Even teens benefit from 12-step programs.
Addicts often feel they are different, better or less damaged than the people they meet at 12-Step meetings. In a group as diverse as is typically found in a 12-Step meeting, it would be surprising to instantly connect with, or even agree with, the perspectives of every member. You may look different on the surface but inside, the people in 12-Step recovery are fighting to stay clean just like you. Even if their stories are different, the underlying messages, struggles and goals are similar. If you feel out of place in a specific meeting, look inward to see if you are unfairly judging people before you get to know them. If you get to know the people a bit better and still feel uncomfortable, consider trying a few other meetings.
#7 Twelve-Step programs don’t work.
There has always been a divide between two schools of thought on addiction: the scientific community and the recovery community. At least in part because of this divide, there is a lack of scientific evidence documenting how and why the 12-Step program works (though anecdotal evidence is abundant). Science has long dismissed 12-Step recovery, leaving a dearth of data where 75 years of history should provide much more, and 12-Step recovery has long rejected the need for and validity of scientific inquiry. But the necessary conclusion is not that 12-Step recovery doesn’t work; rather, the research, to date, has been inadequate.
It’s unfortunate that 12-Step recovery is widely misunderstood and under-researched. Even less fortunate is the fact that these misconceptions drive people away from the process before they can evaluate whether the program might make a difference in their recovery. Like any single approach to addiction, 12-Step recovery isn’t for everyone. But for those who give it a fair try, the potential payoff is great. Recovery is not just about stopping one isolated behavior (drug use) but learning a new way of life – and this is the real value of 12-Step recovery.
David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine. As CEO of Elements Behavioral Health he oversees addiction treatment programs at Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu and West Los Angeles, The Ranch outside Nashville, The Recovery Place rehab in Florida, Texas drug rehab The Right Step and Spirit Lodge, and San Cristobal rehab for men in New Mexico. You can follow Dr. Sack on Twitter @drdavidsack.

Progression Rate of Addiction

Intervention Services uses theS.M.A.R.T. Model of Interventions, which tries to outline the idea that the problem isn’t so much a drug or alcohol problem as it is one of impaired coping mechanisms. The drug or alcohol use is just one of many symptoms of this failure to deal with uncomfortable feelings and life situations in a healthy manner. As an alcoholic or addict uses substances to cope with uncomfortable life situations then their ability to deal with these same situations sober becomes less and less. Over time, this failure to deal with life manifests itself in the form of many classic symptoms that can change over time. Perhaps the best model of these changes is what is sometimes referred to as a “Jellinek Curve” or progression curve of addiction. Demonstrated below is an Intervention Services Progression Curve which we use during our presentations which can be applied to both alcohol and drugs.

S.M.A.R.T. Model Progression Curve

How far down can they go?

Understand however, that progression rates, or how long it takes to reach the bottom of the curve, do sometimes vary depending on the substances used, the frequency and the amount. For your information, we have supplied a breakdown of the average progression rates for the most commonly abused substances in the list below:

Approximate Progression Rate of Drugs

Substance Progression Rate

Alcohol 10 to 30 years

Barbiturates 2 to 7 years

Benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, Klonipin, etc) 5 to 10 years

Cocaine 2 to 10 years

Crack 1 to 5 years

Marijuana 10 to 30 years

Methamphetamine 2 to 7 years *

Opiates (Heroin, Oxycontin, Vicadin, etc) 2 to 7 years

Methadone, Suboxone 3 to 10 years

Club Drugs (Ecstasy, LSD, GHB, Ketamine, etc) Unknown

Inhalants (huffing) Unknown

A common misconception is that if you switch from one substance to another then you start at the top of the progression curve again. In actuality, if you do change substances, then you will take over roughly where you left off on the previous substance’s progression curve. For example, let’s say that you spent 10 years drinking and started experiencing some problems and were somewhere around the middle of the alcohol progression curve. Then you decided to quit drinking but switched over to a much more rapid progression substance such as cocaine. Basically you would progress more rapidly but you would continue at themiddle of the progression curve even though you had never touched the new substance before. Oftentimes we will see an addict who has been drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana for years at a slow steady decline and then he switches to opiates or crack cocaine and then the progression speeds up. The family then mistakenly feels that their loved one “has a crack or heroin problem“ because the decline is so sudden, but in actuality the problem has existed for years at a much slower rate with a different substance or activity.

SPECIAL NOTE: Many interventionists consider methamphetamine the most dangerous of all interventions due to their explosive, random, sometimes violent nature. This difficulty is due to the fact that by the time a methamphetamine user reaches the bottom of the progression curve he is oftentimes delusional, psychotic, or even insane.

For more valuable information, please go to Intervention Services Inc
Peace out ~ ab

Welcome, friends!

Can you imagine my surprise when I discovered that someone mentioned in a previous post ("Recovering...") had made the special effort to stop by and see my blog?! I'm so tickled to know that I've still got so much power and control over those living in the problem.  It just tickles me to remember how it was to be so new to the world, minus the security blanket of my drug of choice AND still struggling to be in charge.
 All the things the old timers told me about what happens to those who stop the drugs w/o making any real spiritual/emotional changes, are clearly true. I'm reminded of the old saying "There's a God, & I'm not Him." Funny to have met someone who's still so adamantly rebelling against that simple truth. I am so grateful today, to have found the peace and joy that can only be found in a right relationship with my Creator.
I am grateful, for sure.
So glad to see who I'm not, anymore.
: )

Recovering...with a little help from my friends...

It has been quite a while since I've posted here because I have no idea why it's stopped refreshing and/or showing up on the timeline thingy (on the left side usually, under blogs you follow), and therefore I don't know if anyone even knows it still exists...
So, I'm hoping to get that straightened out, but in the meantime, please go to the FUNCTIONING blog, "Abbie in Wonderland" @   www.abbieaw.blogspot.com
By the way, The subject line was initiated by a recent experience I had with a "recovery program" being conducted in a local church. Turns out it is an ego-driven "class" being controlled by a couple with a total of maybe 3 years...DRY. Abstinent, maybe, but seriously, it's not anything that's likely to ever produce anything like the spirituality I've found in the 12-step programs. I'm not sure what, if anything, to say or do about it, but I am certain that if the Pastor were aware of the agenda in this group, he'd be pretty upset. The Pastor is a wonderful and Christlike man. The Directors of the group have the typical ego-driven need for, well, let's just say it's all about THEM.

So, I'm remaining happy, joyous and free, for the most part, with help from my friends and my God. NOT this odd group.

5 Reasons Addicts Leave Treatment Early – And How to Prevent It

By David Sack, M.D.

Getting an addict into drug rehab isn’t always an easy task. Getting them to stay there can be even harder. Here are five of the most common reasons people leave drug rehab against medical advice, along with suggestions to help the addict stay committed to their recovery.



1. “Detox is too painful.”

Research shows that the first week of drug rehab is the time when most addicts ask themselves, “What the heck am I doing here?” Withdrawal symptoms, drug cravings and an unfamiliar environment can fill the addict with anxiety at the same time they are deprived of their primary coping mechanism: drugs. Some addicts rationalize that they felt better when using drugs and give up on rehab before treatment really begins.

Prevention Tip: Detox can be made more comfortable with medication and alternative therapies such as neurofeedback, acupuncture and massage. Even if the addict isn’t feeling great, they should try to get involved in as many treatment activities as possible.

Rather than isolating, their peers will help them realize they are not alone and see the hope that treatment brings. The earlier the addict develops trust and rapport with a therapist, the more likely they will listen to the therapist’s recommendations and push through the uncertainty.


2. “I’m not like these people.”

This is a common assertion made after the addict attends their first 12-Step meeting or group therapy session. It is the nature of the disease for addicts to think they are different, smarter or stronger than other addicts. This belief allows them to put up emotional walls between themselves and others and to avoid doing the soul-searching work of recovery.

Prevention Tip: If an individual would fare best in the company of like-minded peers, try to find an appropriate drug rehab program for their needs. Once in treatment, cognitive-behavioral therapy can help the addict turn their focus on differences into recognition of similarities. Education about denial can teach the addict that their disease is driving them to rationalize leaving rehab.



3. “I don’t like it here.”

If an addict wants to go back to using drugs, they must find a justification to do so, both for their own peace of mind and to appease their loved ones who desperately want them to get well. Rather than accepting responsibility for their own recovery, they may place the blame elsewhere – often on the food, accommodations, rules, treatment schedule, staff or other patients.

Prevention Tip: In some cases, the addict’s concerns may be legitimate. Perhaps something can be done to make them more comfortable, such as changing roommates or switching therapists. Or perhaps another treatment center would be a better match, particularly if the individual struggles with co-occurring mental health disorders that aren’t being addressed.

It is always wise to stay involved with treatment and listen to a client’s concerns to determine whether they can be addressed or the individual is merely looking for an excuse to leave. In the latter case, it is essential for family members and other treatment professionals to present a united front, offering loving reminders about why the addict needs to complete treatment. Family involvement and family therapy aid in the process, but “rescuing” an addict from drug rehab merely enables the addiction to continue.



4. “I already know this stuff.”

In addiction recovery, there are certain themes that get repeated throughout treatment. This is because repetition is how we learn. Sometimes it isn’t until the second or third go-around that the addict truly embraces a particular recovery principle or gains new insight. In some cases, the addict may use this excuse to avoid dealing with the painful memories and feelings being explored in therapy.

Prevention Tip: There are many ways to show addicts that no matter how much they think they know, they can always learn more. These include having outside speakers share their stories of recovery, offering alternative therapeutic modalities that the addict hasn’t yet explored, maintaining a full schedule of recovery-related activities, and discussing the likely outcome if the addict follows through on their plan to leave.



5. “I can do this on my own.”

At some point during treatment, most addicts develop a type of confidence that is both healing and potentially damaging. After maintaining their sobriety for a while, they feel healthier than ever and are assured of their ability to stay clean. It is at this point that some believe they are “cured” of addiction and anxiously wish to return to their families and careers.

Prevention Tip: Research shows that the longer an addict stays in treatment the better their chances of avoiding relapse. Believing they “know it all” may be a sign of progress but is also a red flag that more education and treatment are necessary. Step-down levels of care (e.g., moving from inpatient to outpatient or a transitional living environment) allow addicts to test their new recovery skills with ongoing professional support.

In many ways, drug rehab is an exercise in faith. We ask addicts to draw on coping, interpersonal and distress tolerance skills they haven’t yet developed, based on the assurance of others that recovery is possible. Change is hard for an addict, but stillness can be even harder. With the support of family and a team of professionals, addicts can stay still long enough to experience the many rewards of recovery.

David Sack, M.D., is board certified in psychiatry, addiction psychiatry, and addiction medicine. He is CEO of Elements Behavioral Health, a network of treatment centers that focus on addiction treatment, eating disorders, and dual diagnosis.

This and other good info HERE

The post in which I get to talk about Christ AND drugs!! (GET DOWN!)

Ok, So last Sunday we had a "family meeting" at church. The jist of it is this: Our Senior Pastor left his position a cpl years ago (not happy about it, but he'd gotten away from preaching the Bible, and we're just funny about that), and we got to keep the EXTRAVAGANT double mortgage on the building that HE had to have built (I guess a statue would have been a tad too obvious), along with the crazy-big bills that come with maintaining such a pretty/large place. So, we had this meeting, where everyone who's stayed since then - if you've experienced a kind of split, you know it's exactly like a divorce 8-( - attemded,. and we discussed what we're going to do. The fact is, like finances can wreck a marriage, the money situation has become a source of great stress and turmoil. Senior Pastor Guy was the only person who pushed for the building that's easily twice the size needed, and like in a divorce situation, it looks like we're going to have to move to a more manageable-sized place. People were talking about starting a daycare to try to raise more income (and keep where we are, physically), leasing the building out to another church, or selling some of the land....  
*Ok, I say "have to move", but honestly, short of a really big miracle, it's the only thing that's going to work, and so "get to move" is more appropriate.*
Anyway, the topic went around to ministries. They've taken a serious hit since almost all the money coming in has been used to try to keep the building up. Our Pastoress : ) and her hubby have been consistent in encouraging and helping with any kind of ministry anyone wants to do, but there's not been any financial backing for a little while, now. The Big Guy and I were sitting and observing, and there were good and encouraging things brought up, and we were all in agreement that as a body, we are going to give some lengthy prayer to hearing what God wants us to do from here.
At some point, I noticed that I'd gotten a call & voicemail from an unknown number. 
After we got back home, I listened to the vm and it was from an acquaintance in AA, telling me about his d-i-l and her Meth problem. He asked me to call him back & when I did, he explained more of the situation. 

Nicknames for methamphetamine vary from region to region.
Nicknames in the English speaking world include:


"meth"  "ice" "shaboo" "crystal" "crystal meth" "crystal speed" "glass" "Tina" (gay community) "batu"    
"batunas" "crank" "white" "scanté" "czecho"
For more info click on me

Long story short, I ended up sending our Pastoress a text, about talking about people's ministries last night, and while I was still there, recieving a call out of the blue (It's been months since I'd seen the guy in AA, and longer since I've gotten a 12-step call!)to help with an addict. "Coincidence?" I asked her.
The reply came soon:
"I think not!"
So. Yay God.
P.S. that same Sunday, the hubby & I celebrated a year of marital bliss! Ok, not maybe BLISS, but way closer than either of us has ever DREAMT of.

So happy together...

2 Days after Coffee...

...and I think I'm beginning to feel the full effects of having stopped taking the anti-depressants. Maybe I picked a bad day to stop______(drinking, smoking, shooting up, sniffing glue, etc.---re the character on the Airplane movies). I am undoubtedly FEELING things, like I can't remember feeling like this since I first got clean. And they are coming fast and furious, too. I sat in the meeting last night and someone mentioned that she liked going to women's meetings (where you can actually cry!) I was not about to tell her that I had already been crying in that (mixed) meeting...
Before the meeting I was conversing with an older gentleman who had been there for the first time a week or two previously, and he was telling me that the only truly hard thing that I had to deal with, was whatever I was doing right then. He asked me what I was doing right then and I told him that I was spinning out in my head. He said some other things that were very spiritual, and true, and then he asked me if I knew how to meditate. I said I wasn't sure.
He explained that the thing is, that you find a quiet place and quiet your mind. When the thoughts start to spinning out again, and getting loud, you tell them to stop it; and quiet yourself back down again. He said that after practicing that for about 6 months, he began to be able to actually shut up the itty bitty sh*tty committee inside of his head. I have little to no experience in doing little, almost immeasurable things for that long.
My friend AM says that it's just that I'm not used to fully feeling things, and now I'm getting to feel them again, and I'm not used to it. Which makes me feel like I'm a big baby, and that I am wrong for being so out-of-whack. She asked me why I think that I'm any more insane than usual, and I told her about crying in the meeting for no apparent reason...
So, DH has agreed to take the boys overnight, tonight, so that I can go to the meeting in town. Thank You, God.
Oprah has a family on today whose Mom has some kind of mental disorder, where she has accumulated over 70 tons of "things" in a 3k foot house. The piles of things were up to the ceiling in every single room. There was a place on the bed that was barely big enough for a large dog to curl up in, where someone slept. No telling where the other one slept. The thing that struck me, is that it was so overwhelmingly oppressive (among other severe adjectives), depressing, and thick with sickness in the AIR. I am absolutely convinced that the problem was 100% emotional/SPIRITUAL. I had to turn the channel because it looked like the way I could become, from how I'm feeling. The hopelessness of fighting the compulsion, the COMPULSION, the NEED to gather and keep things, to hide from the pain inside of her...
There is a place in the carpet where food had rotted out of the boxes from sitting on the floor for so long, under a 5' pile of stuff, and the carpet was literally rotted away. The "Organizational Expert" had to go outside and retch.
It's just like the woman in treatment realizing that she did not take care of her body as a way of hiding from those who would abuse her, physically. The extra weight worked as a buffer between her and her pain. I have been there with the food, and I'm not nearly past it. I want to become determined to do the work necessary to lose weight. I want to feel again what it is like to achieve my goals. To have victory over the things that would hold me down and pull me under.
"Compulsive Hoarding" is what they are calling it. The woman is trying to fill the emotional holes with THINGS. It's spiritual. I wonder what her family history is like, or what they did to fill their God-sized holes?
A better question is, what am I going to do?

Step by Step

Well this has been an interesting weekend, to say the least.
I spent most of yesterday afternoon with Mom. I hadn't really planned THAT much "hanging" time, but it was pretty good, and I'm grateful that I have that opportunity. It's wonderful and scary at the same time, how much fun we can have together, these days. I regret that it's taken so long for us to reach this place. Here's a Psych thought for ya:
Do we get along so much, now, because I have finally become able to see some of the good qualities that God has given me, as GOOD? We are absolutely a lot alike, and I suspect that my acceptance of Mom and her idiosyncrasies grows in direct proportion to my self-acceptance.
We went to Menard's who "happened" to be having a big, fat 80% off Christmas sale. WOW talk about some serious shopping! (Mind you, it's never been my forte', but I am always open to practicing, when appropriately equipped :o> ) After about an hour & a half, we were getting hungry so we went to Golden Corral. I love their rolls & that awesome honey butter. I could literally eat that for every meal for a week. S'pose that I might be a "carbohydrate addict"?? So, I wolfed down 2 on top of WAAAYYY too many dessert items.
I have been getting a bit of exercise in lately. MORE than usual, but I would be elated to add exercise--of any kind, practically--to the list of things I tend to OVER-indulge in. Hah. Fat chance. :o( It must have been Friday that I did the most exercising of late, because I'm all sore in places that I was not aware that I have muscles. What a wuss.
Anyway, tomorrow morning I am going to Shelbyville, God willing, to meet the folks at "Sanctuary of Shelbyville". I'm excited to see the place, having been to their MySpace site and read a couple of things about them. A couple from a nearby church were led to sell their house and buy a National Guard Armory, and they have been working on turning it into a shelter or something for victims of Domestic Violence. I think it is going to be 10 apartments for the (woman, usually) and their kids. Since the people involved are doing it strictly from their own resources, I am going on a fact-finding mission, kind of, to see what CFWC can do to help. I am particularly interested in seeing if God wants ME to be of any specific service...
So. my dXh is going farther all the time into, uh, let's just say "curious" territory with his appearance. I was not surprised that he has been getting rather upset when we forget to call first and just drop in. His clothes and accessories have been gradually morphing into the affects of his past. He blows it off when I indicate that I'm noticing, but I have my concerns. It's hard to believe that neither of the boys has noticed anything unusual...Perhaps I will speak to him about it, more seriously.





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